Colonoscopy

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I'm truly frantic. I was diagnosed with metastatic womb cancer 5 years ago. I continue to go for 6 month scans. The next one is due in about six weeks and I'm frantic. The last one indicated a 4 cm 'thickening in the wall' of the colon and a colonoscopy was recommended. The day of the colonoscopy, I became genuinely ill with vomiting and really couldn't take a chance on going the distance to my appointment in the afternoon. I called and explained. I was told I could reschedule, however, a letter was sent to my oncologist informing her that they believed I was simply upset about the test and they would await word from her. Well, to date, I have heard nothing. Yes, indeed, I am terrified of this test. The prep was absolutely awful and I also have concerns about the invasiveness of it. Now, I am finding myself thinking constantly about it and have convinced myself that the next scan will reveal something too far reaching to help. With Covid, I've not been out of the house and this, as well, is feeding my depression. As well, it's giving me more time to think. I am terrified of the next scan's results and feel I have nowhere to turn. I cannot imagine a scenario whereby a day will come when I am not paralyzed by fear. 

I would appreciate so much any help or information.

Ms Muggles

  • Hello Ms Muggle, 

    I so understand your fear. And you sickness before that test is understandable. But it’s worth it to go ahead get the test out of the way. Can you ring your GP or oncologist to get another appointment. If you read my bio you will see thr mill I went through. 
    but I think a chat with you GP about your worries would be a great help. All those scans spot things so early now. I got that drink down looked at my favourite gardening magazines. It’s the stress and fear, the test is done so quickly.  You are a fighter I can see that. All of  us here are. And you will beat this test too. I understand that fear. I’m holding your hand and believe me you are a strong person. I’m new to this forum and the people you will meet here will give you strength and great advice. 
    you are not alone x

  • Thank you so much for your reply. You are right, I know. The stress and fear have gotten me to the point whereby some days, I just don't care. I simply look for symptoms. You know, Helen BK, I thought I was strong yet I don't feel it anymore. I will contact someone who can re-order it tomorrow and force myself, no matter how fearful I am, of going ahead. Thank you again. x

  • Good for you. Get it done and dusted. But I understand that fear and it’s hard some days. Those days of feeling beaten are tough. It’s lonely. But  you are not alone and tell those fears to go away. I’m holding your hand as are so many here. Believe me  this is a great forum. Try to have a sleep tonight and if you have difficulty please ask you gp for help it’s so worth it. x 

  • Hi  I had a colonoscopy a couple of months ago and the prep is by far the worst part of it. It’s such a shame that you got through that part but couldn’t manage the final bit. It is invasive I suppose but something that the hospital staff do day in day out so just try and block out what they’re actually doing.You are given a pair of paper pants which have an opening in the back and they are very respectful and careful to preserve your dignity as much as possible. You are given a mild sedation and although you are aware of your surroundings and can hold a conversation I didn’t even realise that the procedure had started until I saw the screen. 
    You are strong - you’ve beaten cancer once already and you sound to have a very vigilant team behind you - so please don’t worry about the unknown - thoughts are not facts - have the colonoscopy and then you can clear your mind of the worry

    Take care

    Karen x

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
  • Hi Ms Muggles, your fear and anxiety are totally understandable but I agree getting the test done would be worth it. Taking action is often what unfreezes us from the stuck place. (I'm there just now but for a different reason - so listening to my own advice as I write this!!!). I had a colonoscopy three months ago and I didn't take the sedation, just gas and air and to be honest it wasn't that bad at all. If you take the sedation then I'd think it would really be okay and definitely worth it to know what's going on and hopefully give you peace of mind. Good luck and hope you get it rescheduled soon xx