Bowel

FormerMember over 4 years ago

2 replies
111 subscribers
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Hi, my partner was diagnosed last week of colon cancer that has spread to his liver. The specialist told us it was inoperable and uncurable. We are having a phoncall on Tuesday to hopefully come up with a treatment plan for chemotherapy. We continue to use humor, but more as a self defence now, laughter has always been our attack before. I am usually a very positive person every negative has a positive but i am struggling to find a positive in this situation..That being said i want to be the best source of encoragement and strength that i can be to my wonderful partner but my brain is fogged and cant find a positive. Im not even sure if they gave a prognosis when we received the call. Its like a bolt of lightning striking and being left under a dark cloud not knowing to ever expect to see sunshine again. Probably sounds dramatic but its literally how i feel.

court over 4 years ago

Welcome to the forum . Hopefully others will pop on and share with you too.

I think quite a few of us stumbled onto this forum wondering what wrong street we turned up and how on earth do you get back out ! It’s overwhelming for sure please don’t worry about not feeling positive about this . It harsh and it’s a process to come to terms with it . You will surface again and your strength slowly gathers .

Whilst a secondary spread is classed as incurable it really does mean he can be treated . Once they get a feel of how his cancer responds to chemo they will get a better picture of his prognosis. This is very individual and gives a lot of hope . There is in fact a subgroup of patients who respond very well to chemo and use it at a maintenance dose for years and years . Some are on their fifth year and doing well . For another subgroup of patients chemo can be so powerful it becomes a game changer and it opens up other treatment options like Radio Frequency ablation or liver surgery . If you click on my name you can read my mum’s her journey through this . Sadly for some they don’t get the same response. However new treatments have been emerging in the last few years and for yet another subgroup that changes their outcomes too!

I think it took me months and months to find a way to cope . Coming here and sharing with others who are going through the same really strengthened me .

My mum has been classed as a stage 4 patient for 11 1/2 years . So it is a big unknown for stage 4 patients and that takes time and endurance from all involved .

A patient told me to keep my mind where my body was not heading down the worst possibly outcome . And for me I got up in the morning and said what’s required of me today ! Just today . Conveniently my dad had taken a stroke and needed help himself two weeks before my mum got diagnosed. I had two young children so moved them in with me for six months so I could access them all under one roof and see to all the needs ! I was anything but strong or positive back them . But we slowly moved it forward .
Take care and have a better day today !

Court

Helpline Number 0808 808 0000

FormerMember over 4 years ago in reply to court

Hi Court

Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply. Reading your response has given me hope and for the first time i feel like we can do this. It all just seemed so daunting and at times overwhelming as i am sure you and many others have felt before me.. I think the unknown of the road ahead is the hardest. I am so pleased for you that your mum is doing so well. Thankyou once again.

Laino