Supporting partner who has been diagnosed with secondary bone cancer - still investigating primary source

Hi everyone

I am so sorry for all of you who have this horrid diagnosis or supporting a loved one who has been diagnosed.  We found out 4 days ago my brave partner had secondary bone cancer and he is undergoing some more checks to determine the primary source

I don't really know what I should be doing at the moment to support him and have come here to ask for advice for anything practical you might suggest 

I've got notebooks and started to write questions down - telephone numbers - shared calendars etc and I'm also looking across the amazing cancer support groups for the emotional support groups that are available for him to access now 

Is there a particular diet I could start to think about to help build his strength up before treatment? 

While he is poorly, are there any considerations I can think about now to help him feel more comfortable at home?  

We have a 5 year old girl who is a blessing of a distraction but mindful she will need to know about it soon and before treatment starts.  Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this at all?

I've no idea what I'm doing or should be asking but perhaps just to know there are people out there I can talk to would be a great start 

Wishing you all speedy recoveries and good news 

XX

  • Hi 

    My husbands advice prior to treatment was no diet as chemo has many side effects and he may not want to eat . My hubby can only manage porridge and cups of tea . We have two children age 15 and 10 . We didn’t want to overload the youngest with scary words but have explained that dad has a poorly back and needs special medicine at the hospital. She has accepted this for now . Please read my bio and ask as many questions as you can think of x 

  • sorry… just getting used to this website.  Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my post.  I hope your husband is feeling a little more positive and you are okay.  It’s such a horrid disease.  I’m finding it all very overwhelming and especially as we don’t know the primary source for treatment to start.  I’m appreciative of you advice with diet and support for our 5yr old too.   X

  • Hello, sorry to hear about your situation but i can relate to it. I started off the exact same way, id say have a read of my profile for my story but beware that it is possibly a worst case scenario story so i dont want to frighten you as your husband may not be as advanced as myself. It was hard telling my children but we are in a good place at the minute. I changed my diet and it has helped me deal with side effects but thats just me and im no nutritionalist. Take care, if you or your husband would ever like a chat once he gets results back, over the phone or private message id be happy to. It helped me talking to others. 

    Regards

    Paul

    "Diagnosed March 2021 at 38 years old with stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer, my journey so far is on my profile"

  • Hi Paul

    i just read your blog and it has given me hope for my partner who is stage 4 prostate cancer with bone mets

    He is Gleason score 4+4

    At present he is on hormone therapy which has brought his PSA from 5.5 to 0.09 which is amazing 

    His main problem now is sweats from the therapy .

    We still don’t know what his prognosis is but reading your post has given me hope

    Its midnight now and he’s been in bed a while and I’m sitting in tears worrying how long I have him with me 

    Silly I know but he is my good man and I can’t bear to think of ever being without him

    Gid bless to you and yours x

  • Hello Misty, glad to hear your husband has responded well to the hormone therapy, that is great. I always think that my diagnosis and physical condition is worse for my wife, she hates seeing me in pain, fatigued or discomfort. My wife has been having some councilling sessions which have helped her and we have been on a few holidays now I'm on my feet after all the treatments so maybe that may be something that could help you. I know it will never go away from your thoughts but hopefully if your husband carries on responding well to treatment things will get a little easier and you can get a little normality back into your life. I still get the sweats myself, mainly at night. I use a cool pad that I had bought for my dog last summer haha and take evening primrose oil. Take care and good luck x

    Regards

    Paul

    "Diagnosed March 2021 at 38 years old with stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer, my journey so far is on my profile"

  • Thank you for your response . I guess the fact he also has bone mets has been very worrying 

    im quite new to this and I’m a heart thinker but maybe I need to step out of that and use my head to appreciate the here and now 

    Big love to you and yours 

  • It's easier said than done though so don't be too hard on yourself, I can relate to how you are feeling as I've watched and helped my wife through it. I do have 2-3 days a week now were I am great and my condition doesn't impact my day. Has your husband had any RT or started on any other treatments other than HT? 

    Regards

    Paul

    "Diagnosed March 2021 at 38 years old with stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer, my journey so far is on my profile"