Hello and your thoughts would be welcome

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Not sure if this is the right place but please feel free to redirect me.

I have been diagnosed with metastasis from a primary tonsil cancer and lymph nodes and a lesion on the hip . The stage (?) is cT4 N1 M1 left tonsil P16 positive squamous cell carcinoma.

I have been told only palliative treatment is available. 

I was offered;

1. a short radiotherapy treatment for the next region and then chemo to provide a, "Better quality of life."

2. A treatment of chemo as much as I can take, presently 4 sessions, to try and control the spread then if it seems to be helping a more radical treatment of the neck.

No preference was suggested by the consultant the choice was left to me. The consultant was unable to provide evidence which was a better route. Neither was he prepared to offer figures for life expectancy beyond no treatment was probably 1 year.

I wondered if any one was able to comment on the ,"palliative only'" and the choices suggested by the consultant? Also the choice I made.

I chose No 2 as I felt trying to arrest the spread was the most important but what do I know, nothing. The first chemo is this coming Friday 20th August.

This has all come about since the beginning of June and my partner and I are unable to stop crying and I feel I am watching some hazy bad film and then waking up and realising this is me.

Your thoughts would be very welcome.

Thank you


  • Hello Gerainte1,  it sounds as though the Consultant was not very helpful.  It may not be a bad idea to get a second opinion.  Palliative can mean treating the cancer and making life more comfortable.  This website is very helpful and hopefully you will get further advice.  Love and hugs Suexxx

    • Hi geraint, I have kidney cancer which has spread to the bones, and lungs,and am on palliative care only. I have morphine, paracetamol, and gaberpentin for the pain in my bones. I am also on cabozantinib tablets to try and reduce  my kidney cancer , which, at the moment is working slightly.
    • there are lots of different treatments out there to try and prolong your life and for me, im happy to try anything. 
      my partner and I still cry every now and then when the magnitude of it all kicks in. We just try taking every day as it comes. Side effects of the drugs give you all different types of days , some bad, but mostly good.
    • you will come to terms with your diagnosis and learn to live with it whilst you can.
    • good luck on your journey 
    • Regards
    • Rose xx
  • Thank you Sue, we have asked for a 2nd opinion and we are waiting for one from Manchester. I suspect it will eb same as these are the national guidelines but as you say worth doing. Thank you again.Love Ger

  • Thanks for replying Rose. There is just so much to try and take in and it has all been so quick but just hearing from others is a help. I hope you keep having the good days. Thank you again.

    Ger X