Hi folks

Dear Dons26,

You must feel as if you have been hit by a bus having to face so much in such a short space of time. I'm glad you have contacted us on this forum as at least we can help you as you go tgrough your bladder cancer treatment.

First let me give you my heartfelt condolences for the loss of your daughter. 

Second I suggest if you haven't already done so that you contact the Myeloma group for support with that, even though it is currently asymptomatic.

And third, I would suggest you also access face to face support via e.g. a Maggie's centre or Macmillain cancer centre, or via telephone support line (details on this site).

As far as bladder cancer, chemo, bladder etc removal and immunotherapy I have been through all of those, as have many others in this forum, and so far have been clear for over 3 years, which I hope you find reassuring. It seems that you have a good set of medics helping you cope with your treatment and will be in the thick of it soon. If you haven't already been given leaflets on bladder cancer, you can find them on this site. They are clear, well written and reassuring, I think and you can download them as well. Life without a bladder (I have a stoma and bags while others have a neobladder) is pretty much the same as life before, once everything settles down.

Chemo can be lonely, although I found it easy to talk to others in the treatment room and the staff are usually the kindest people you will find. Take warm clothes, some water, a book and be prepared for some waiting around. In my hospital they brought around tea and coffee as well as sandwiches, but if you have someone with you - my husband took me there and brought in treats as well as chatting to me and other patients - it can be helpful. You will soon get used to the routine. 

Ask us anything you like, someone here will know what it's like (as a patient). 

And you can read our bios if you click on our names most of us have given details of treatment on there, which can be useful.

All the best,

Latestart

What  a lot to cope with all at once. You are entitled to feel lonely and scared - it's hard to be putting on a good face all the time. This is certainly a safe space to come and say what you really feel, if you wish, or just chat or ask questions from those who have had surgery. Latestart has given good suggestions. 

Quite a few people where I live have been diagnosed with myeloma - I thought it was supposed to be quite uncommon, but doesn't seem so. Very best wishes to you.

Hi Dons26,I’m so sorry for your loss and all that you are going through.I hope you will find some help and comfort here with us in our friendly group.Best wishes Jane x

Thanks for the kind welcome and great advice I will take it all on board. Also sorry for the late reply have been out with family and just really tired the past few days. No one in my family has/had cancer (thankfully) so having here to have a chat with folks will help a lot. 

I am a bit nervous about starting treatment but I know thats normal and it's reassuring to hear that things will be eventually back to normal. Im really glad to hear that you are doing okay after it and I have heard a lot about many people living with stomas since this started. I guess its all just fear of the unknown and honestly I am terrified of the treatment not working because I still have a son and daughter and they are just distraught over losing their sister so the last thing they need is to lose someone else soon. I just have to try and stay positive.

I will check out those other things you mentioned thank you so much.

Dons