New here. Not sure what I want to say either.

Hi MagicMirror and welcome to this supportive and friendly group although sorry to hear of your diagnosis. We know how you must be felling as many of us have been there. If you have only just been diagnosed, it seems a bit early to be talking about a bag which would involve bladder removal. It may help if you could tell us where you are up to at the moment. How were you diagnosed and what have you had done so far? As far as how you got it, besides the usual smoking etc., there are no reasons in many cases.. Best wishes.

Well it all started with a suspected kidney stone. So they did a CT scan and confirmed it. They also noticed an issue with my lymph nodes on the scan.

They did more scans relating to the lymph nodes and found I have a double hernia too. But felt I should have a PET CT scan to investigate the lymph nodes further.

I had my kidney stone removed at the end of Nov and they found something on my bladded and took a biopsy.
They put two 'stents' I think they are called in, one for the kidney stone removal and the other for the biopsy. They should have been removed by now but still no news on that despite chasing. I'm still peeing blood so I think that's more on my mind right now.

Anyway the doctor in charge of the kidney stone removal called me and he happened to ask what I'd heard with regards to the biopsy, I said I'd heard nothing. He just told me I have bladder cancer and it's serious and I'll be referred to another consultant who explain further but I'm yet to even have a date for that.

So it is very early days and I basically know nothing. My dad's cancer started in the bladder too for what it's worth.

I'm not sure at this stage if I'm happier not knowing. I'm a bit a wuss when it comes to anything medical.

Hi MagicMirror, I am sorry to hear you are going through this. The shock of being told you have cancer can leave you feeling a bit numb for a bit.The good folk on this site have been through it or like myself have been recently diagnosed, they will help with advice and support and have been a godsend. Like Rily says , if you can say what stage you are at at diagnosis, there will be someone here who has experience/knowledge to be able to help. It is a friendly group which you may find is a comfort to you. Best of luck

much love Angela 

Hi magicmirror its a strange coincidence, i too was into video gaming and havent played since my diagnosis ! I hadnt  realised that till you mentioned it

How long ago was your diagnosis?

April this year , took me a while to get over the shock. If you click on my name and have a look at my profile it will tell you whats happened so far 

much love Angela

Hi MagicMirror . Sorry to hear about all the other things you have going on. The usual first step is an op to scrape away the offending cells but what you say about biopsies it sounds as though they may have done this when you had your kidney op. Results of the biopsies then determine the next step. It takes a few weeks for results. Best wishes.

Hi Halofan, I see it's been a few months for you. I wonder if there are other aspects of your life that seem less engaging now? I suppose I'm trying to figure out if I am in fact depressed and don't know it, or if it's  just a case that a diagnosis changes what is important. I don't know how I should be feeling if that makes sense. 

Hi MagicMirror, its hard to say about the diagnosis affecting things i liked to do as I have long covid and the main thing i loved was hill walking. I haven't been able to do that for 2yrs now. I knew I would need emotional support so set  up some counselling, it was offered to me by the urology nursing team. I feel lucky that my hospital seem to really look after cancer patients. I still have times when i cant be bothered with stuff, but i find that  that is when i am awaiting results of biopsies or stuff, its like i am semi frozen if you know what i mean. I have found value in other things that i wouldnt have noticed before. I have also taken up mindfulness. Does your hospital have a specialist cancer nurse on the urology team ? Mine is connected to macmillan. If they do , then maybe have a word and talk to them about how you are feeling. I think the Macmillan helpline might be worth talking to, How supportive is your GP practice ?. 
stay in touch on here , the folk are helpful and they have all been through it.

much love Angela 

Based on my experience, you are in the shock stage and how you react to the symptoms and diagnosis in this stage will be very individual, including feeling rather numb. You are early in your trajectory. Be sure to find one or two close friends who will not jump to conclusions and lean heavily on them. Ask them to watch out for unusual behaviour or reactions on your part as you may not quickly pick up on it. I have heard this immediate reaction described as a grieving process, and we all grieve differently. Please pay no attention to anyone who tries to attribute your condition to past choices or behaviours. The participants in this forum alone have diverse backgrounds and pointing to an apparent cause isn’t helpful, and probably isn’t accurate. Please take full advantage of the experience on this forum and try to stay strong and hopeful. I know it isn’t easy.