Trapped...

Hello LOWER and a warm welcome to the group. Sorry to hear you feel a bit down after your cystectomy but you are in good company here. We have members here to support you and who understand. I see Mike Thehighlander has given you some useful links in your earlier post. Not sure how long since you had your bladder removed, but always someone here to answer questions or just talk. Best wishes.

Dear Lower, please would you consider checking to see if there is a Men in Sheds near you? going to this has made a huge improvement in my husband's mental health since his  bladder cancer treatment. Like you the treatment has worked so he just has check-ups twice a year. Could you have video calls like Skype or facetime with your daughter, rather than transatlantic travel? 

I do remember an older neighbour years ago, she was sent to a local home for the elderly to recover from some op. She liked the company, meals and set-up so much she sold her house and went there permanently. But it would be a massively risky step to take. The simplest thing that is out of your control can ruin the life in such a place. Eg the chef leaves and the type of meals goes downhill overnight. So please try to start with Men in Sheds. If there isn't one of those near you, try contacting Age Concern to ask for suggestions.

Please come back to let us know how you get on.

Denby

Your feelings are very understandable, especially at this time of year. Staying in is much easier than making the effort to go out, knowing there is an empty home for return. Sounds like you need a group with a specific focus that you can join.

How are your cooking skills? There might be a class for older single people to improve their culinary skills & have a bit of fun. Maybe an interest group in U3A? Or perhaps a Cruise group for the bereaved.

Another option to consider is to have a lodger, if you have suitable accommodation. Best wishes.