Hi I’m Jo, My Dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer Dec 2022 and given a terminal diagnosis in Jan 2023.
luckily we converted his bungalow and moved in with him about 3 years ago as Dad is in his 80s and has heart failure. My wife, adult son and I are here with him now 24/7.
He was given weeks to live on Monday and I’m feeling lost, helpless and scared about what’s to come for Dad.
This week dads had to sleep in a hospital bed and start having carers as he won’t allow me to do his personal care. I do empty and change his catheter and flush when it is blocked.
I've always been a Daddy’s girl, I’m my dads only child.
i just hope I’m doing everything I can for Dad and making sure he knows how much I love him
JoJo70 . Hi Jo and welcome to the group although sorry to hear of Dad's situation. This must be really hard for you and your family. Your Dad sounds like one of us old fashioned oldies because he will not allow you to care for him. He is thinking of you rather than himself and keeping his pride. He will know how much you love him. Always someone here to listen or talk if you want to. Love and Best Wishes.
Hello JoJo70 A warm welcome to our little club - I am so sorry to hear of your Dad's situation.
I am an only child - although I am 68 now and fully understand just where you are and all the emotions you are going through at present. I had the same situation with my father - he was so proud and such a gentleman and looking back on the final few weeks of his life he was so protective of me.
Your dad's in his 80's which is a great age to get to and I am sure he will be thinking of you and how proud he will be that you are there for him in his time of need - I am sure he will understand your love for him by the amount of time and care you have for him.
Don't worry too much by the fact that he won't let you deal with his personal care - he's still your dad and is still looking after you after all these years - just by you being there for him will mean everything to him........
Remember in these sad times to take some time out for you and your family too.....and don;t forget we as a Community are here for you a rily says to listen and talk to.
My sincere best wishes at this sad time - Brian.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
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Hi JoJo70
I am Steve, another of our community champs though mostly people will find me on our Family and friends forum or Carers only forum.
You are going through such a lot at the moment and that "weeks to live" message is very hard to hear but can be little help - what does that really mean 2 weeks or 52 weeks are very different.
I am youngest of four and when my dad was really ill our son was very young and so my dad hid much of his illness from me - it was not the most helpful. Like your dad mine was very proud and perhaps did not always ask for help when he needed it.
Moving to a hospital bed can seem like a big thing. Your feelings are perfectly normal - in our odd "normal" world but I am so glad you reached out on here and remember if it helps do ring the helpline too - I have certainly cried at them in the past and they are wonderful, sometimes hearing another human voice can be helpful to ground us a bit.
<<hugs>>
Steve
