Hi I’m new to the group I’m 4seasons. Last July I was diagnosed with bladder cancer and then it spread to my right kidney. Now I have a nephrostomy in my kidney and I have recently finished chemo. They are now starting me on avelumab. I’m 60 years old but I feel so alone. I don’t sleep because I keep having to go to the toilet and I have to wear pads now as I can’t control my bladder. I don’t go out much only really to hospital appointments because of this. The new treatment they have said I will be having this every 2 weeks for a year and I hate it .I just think what if it doesn’t work the can cer is still inside me and I just want it out.I want to see my grandchildren grow up but I just can’t see that happening..My family are very supportive but I don’t think they truly understand.I feel so worthless and don’t think I deserve anything and the guilt of not helping with the bills is awful as I used to work in a care home but I had to give it up. The pain brings me to tears sometimes I just want my life back. Is there anyone who can give me advice as I don’t want to be alone anymore Thankyou for your time
Hi 4 seasons and a welcome from me also. Avelumab is a fairly new treatment for bladder cancer and so not a lot of experience of it here. Constant toilet issues which cause lack of sleep would go towards the way you are feeling. It is always difficult for others to understand the feelings of having cancer and this is where this group helps. You can always talk here about anything and we understand. I hope all goes well with the treatment and they can sort your pain issues out. Best wishes.
