Partner has Bladder cancer

I think sometimes the younger & fitter people are pre-op, the worse they feel the frustration during recovery. Unfortunately there's also a tendency to push too hard to get back to where they were. Chilli, your partner has certainly suffered more than many and 6 weeks is still early days. With no complications it was 8 months before I was doing all normal activities without fatigue. It is a gradual process. Sorry I have no suggestions to offer for the pain, but if he can manage to maintain some walking each day, that is often helpful in getting bowels working again. Best wishes.

Hello Chilli Lover - just sending a hug to you.  My husband  has a lived with advanced bladder cancer for the past  two years.  So I understand a bit about how hard it can be as a patient and how stressful it is for the partner.  

I know everyone's cancer journey is different but  just to say I am sure your husband will start to feel stronger soon.  He's clearly determined and has great support  from you.  As you've said, that was a big operation - the anaesthetic and the painkillers mess with  your body and your head. And although your husband  is strong and positive it will have kicked the stuffing out of him.  But he will build back and it's amazing that, together, you have  already worked out the stoma business.  

My husband had surgery but could keep his bladder.  He does have some spread though, including in the lungs.  He did well on chemo and radiotherapy but the small spread  (metastases)  came back.  After a bit of experimentation he is now on a drug with few side effects which is  (slowly) reducing the spread to the lungs.  He feels healthier now than he has done for several years.  We both feel so much happier and more positive  than we did two years ago at the time of diagnosis.  

Keep going and be kind to yourself.  Hope things go well for you. 

Hi Swan173,Can I ask,did your husband have any symptoms from his cancer spread ? It’s good to hear he is feeling healthier.Best wishes Jane

Hello Jane

He felt and looked dreadful at the point of the original diagnosis 2 years ago.  It's hard to know about the symptoms from the cancer spread.  We had been so happy and surprised that he had responded so well to the chemo and radiotherapy and he was feeling really good when 6 months later he had a scan which showed small nodes in lungs and some lymph nodes and possibly bone in the pelvic area.  

He did  have a bad pain in his hip and thigh bone but he thought that was nothing  to do with the cancer.  He has never had any  breathing problems or pain in pelvic area (lymph nodes).  His doctor always says the spread is small and slow growing but advises its better to  try and shrink it now because if its takes off it will be harder.  

At the moment, a year on from the scan that showed the spread, he says there is nothing that he wants to do that he can't do and -  at 70  - he is pretty busy doing  a bit of  work, lots of gardening and a bit of motorbiking. He looks really well and we just celebrate every day.  

Hope that description is helpful -  and good luck with your own health and happiness.

Thank you Swan.My bladder was removed but I haven’t been feeling well recently.I’m having repeat blood tests and a scan next week.I’m hoping it’s something that can be treated and not a return of the cancer which was advanced.It is lovely to hear your husband is busy and enjoying life.Love and best wishes to you both.Jane x

Try not to worry too much Jane.  Our oncologist often reminds us that ' not everything is to do with your cancer'.  And yes, sometimes we get other smaller health things or (in our case) are just getting older.  Wishing you all the best for your scan and a peaceful spring.  

Yes it could be due to something else.Whatever it is I hope it can be treated.My mother died recently and I’m her executor.There is so much to do I need to be fitter.Best wishes Jane x

Oh, that's big stuff! I've been through that one too.  It could just be stress.  Try and breathe and relax if you can -  although, even as 'the partner', I know that is so hard to do.   Wishing you all the best.  Keep me posted.  Kim x

Thanks Kim,I’ll post an update on the thread I started about abdominal pain.Love Jane x

I can't remember a lot of pain, but I do have a high threshold, which has been remarked on in the past. I was given a dosage of codine tablets. I can't remember issues with the rectum, but I did have severe constipation and temperature fluctuations. It is s major op and recovery does take time to recover, up to 6 months and beyond, so don't be too surprised at the progress. Often fits and starts.