Balancing pragmatism and shock

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My husband was diagnosed very recently at 39. He goes to the gym, has an active occupation and a good diet. This is the last thing I imagined. I went through cancer myself (breast) a couple of years ago & my initial reaction to my Husband's diagnosis was to be pragmatic and get through: that had worked for me. I am quickly learning it's not the same at all. Are there any other family members or friends of those with this disease who have any strategies for dealing with the initial shock? Sending love to all of you going through it. H x

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

    I'm sorry to read that your husband has recently been diagnosed with cancer. Like you, I went through breast cancer treatment and found that my 'just get on with it' approach worked well for me. However, I don't know how I'd feel if it was my husband who got cancer.

    I hope you don't mind me suggesting that you also join and post in the carers only group. Whilst there might not be anyone there whose partner has bile duct cancer, they all know what it's like when a loved one is dealing with cancer.

    If you think this might help, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

    It would be great if you could put something about your husband's diagnosis and proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • Your response was both kind and useful; I'll take your advice on board. 

    We're in hospital on Monday for further tests so we just need to distract ourselves this weekend with long walks and lots of cooking! 

    Thank you.

  • Hi,

    I am so sorry to read your story, especially for such a young couple.  And for yourself to have also been affected, you know exactly how your husband is feeling.  My husband had surgery in September and maybe I find it easier as I have never had to cope with that awful diagnosis.   As Latchbrook suggests, when you are able, post more information - people are so kind & supportive.  

  • Thanks for your kind response. It genuinely helped x