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My partner has been diagnosed with anal cancer. Still in shock! Its like I've been transport into the Twighlight Zone where everyone speaks with a language I dont know nor ever wanted to know! 

  • Hello SMMP

    All of us can remember the shock and utter confusion around a cancer diagnosis, and you are right, it is a different language but one that you and your partner will become increasingly familiar with over the coming weeks.  I am so sorry to hear of the diagnosis, the next few weeks will be a non-stop round of appointments of scans, meetings and appointments but once the treatment path has been decided, your partner (and you) will feel a lot more in control of what is happening.

    We have lots of tips and coping strategies so please keep us up to date with when they have a treatment plan.  We are always here to support if needed too.

    Irene xx 

  • Thank you so much. Thank you for reaching out xx

  • Hi SMMP, I am also newish to this group which has been a great source of advice and support.Those early days are horrendous but once you have the plan it does ease alittle

    big virtual hug Emma x

  • Thank you so much. It gives me a great sense of relief to know reaction is "normal" lol

  • Well, I'm glad for your partner that they've got you. The stories here that wrench my heart hardest are the people with no support. 

    It's a shock, and an adjustment. In a few weeks you'll look back on this with amazement as you easily field all the various terms and shortcuts.

    The gold standard treatment, if that's what your partner gets, is harsh but very effective. Two years down the road I'm not back to 'normal', nor do I expect to be. But I'm cancer-free and living my life, so I can adjust to the rest. 

    Chances are excellent that y'all will get there too.



  • Welcome to the group no one willingly would want to join but it’s fantastic for support and tips on how to progress through treatment. I’m sorry but the person who has been diagnosed, are they male or female? I am asking because this group has lots of ladies and a few men and it’s great to get advice from both sides as treatment does affect us ladies differently with regards to side effects. My first piece of advice is a sitz bath and surprised Irene hasn’t jumped in there and beat me to it, sorry Irene! As Irene has said once the ball is rolling and scans all completed and the start date arranged you will start to feel a bit more in control. Your partner will be told the whole run down of side effects from treatment but we don’t get all of them and ones we do occur as days go on and you are given creams etc to deal with them. Keep us posted.


  • My treatment starts 15 July , sitz bath has arrived . To be honest my amazon deliveries are usually more exciting Cry

  • Hi Emz , 

    great you got your treatment date , we are with you every step of the way … I’m day 19 post treatment , been a long year , without the lovely people on here , I would have been at sea !! 
    best wishes 

    Chrissie xx

  • We will be thinking of you Emz on the 15th July. The day is tough due to you going into the unknown and can be an overwhelming mix of emotions. But as the days go by it does get better as you are nearing the end. Just keep ticking your calendar. By the time I finished my bathroom cabinet was overflowing with all these magical remedies that I did not always use but think I made Amazon a little bit richer! You have the warmer months coming (hopefully) and when you are going through the post recovery period just lay in your garden if possible and take in the sun. My husband bought me a lovely garden basket swing which I was able to lay in but have some shade. I am three years post treatment and feel great but like Suz not my hundred percent back to the way I was as I am now lactose intolerant but hope in the future this passes. 


  • Yes I was feeling at ease knowing the plan but now im back to worried as its a few days away. Its my last day in work tomorrow then I handover so its all becoming reality.

    I had a holiday booked for spain end of July so that has been cancelled, my husband and daughter purchased a lovely table and chairs and parasol set for the garden … Ive only had the cushions out once in 3 weeks not much sun in North Wales but fingers crossed we will get some soon 

    oncologist did say I would definitely be left with IBS at the minimum Rolling eyes

    i just have to think positive x