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I've been a member of this group for a while but this is my first post. Hello.

Brief background:

March 20 - diagnosed age 44 with stage 3b anal cancer: Chemoradiation for 6.5 weeks

August 20 - given the all clear

November 20 - metastasis and diagnosed with Stage 4: 7 tumours found on liver and both lungs: Chemotherapy for 6 months. 2 remaining lesions treated by Royal Marsden by ablation. Since then 3 further ablations on lung/liver.

Today: received news that last ablation was successful and no new evidence of disease. Wanted to reach out to see if anyone else feels deflated after receiving what to others is good news? I know I should be happy but not feeling it and wondered if that was common? To me I think it is just a reminder.


  • Hello Hope22

    I am pleased to hear you have been a member for some time, but sorry to read your first post.  I totally empathise with your feelings.  If you read my profile, I was stage IV at diagnosis and underwent 6 months systemic chemo first, followed by the chemo/radiation, followed my two lung ablations.

    Having a cancer diagnosis (for me) totally took away my innocence around serious illness.  That day changes you forever, regardless of the results that follow, and life becomes a rollercoaster of the nail-biting waiting and watching, scans and results, and even though those are good, one thinks, safe - for another three months.  However, there are many many really good days in between, and one learns to live with the reminders of the diagnosis which are always lurking there somewhere.

    You are so young to have gone through all this and to be living with the reminders.  I can't offer much in the way of comfort but wanted to reassure you that yes, the flat feeling after good news is very common, and you are not alone in this.  There are others who have had cancer counselling after treatment and found it therapeutic, it may be worth investigating this if you feel you need some extra help.

    And I am really happy after all that you have been through that they have told you NED; now just be very kind to yourself; I hope that you have a good understanding support network around you to help you through this, and we are here at any time if you need support or a listening ear.

    Irene xx

  • Hi Hope.

    I had that deflated feeling even after getting the 'In Remission' news earlier this year. I'm sure that having had that, then getting backhanded with the terrible blow of metastasis, makes it even harder to assimilate.

    When you get punched in the face twice in a row, it's hard not to flinch.

    I'm flinching on your behalf.



  • Hi Irene75359

    Thank you for your message and very kind words. I have just read your profile and am sorry to hear what you have been through. 

    Yes it is definitely a rollercoaster, one we didn't ask to get on and can't get off! There are lots of good days and most of the time I forget, but the problem with that, as you will know, is the remembering.


    Emma x

  • Thank you Suz.

    That is good news re your 'in remission', although I understand the deflated feeling. 

    Take good care of you :-)

  • Hi  , 

    Hello, I’d like to offer you an official welcome to the Macmillan online community even though you’ve been here a while, congratulations on the news of being NED but I’m so sorry to hear of everything you’ve been through since your diagnosis.

    I’ve come to the conclusion that going through a cancer diagnosis & subsequent treatment leaves us with a boat load of residual trauma! How we deal with that is very individual but I completely understand the description of the deflation you feel, I felt this way when I was discharged in June after my 5 years surveillance, I expected to feel elated but just felt very, very flat. I’ve spoken with many people that have also felt this way so it doesn’t seem uncommon. You’ve been through so much just give it time for the news to sink in then if you feel you’re struggling at all please enquire about being put in contact with a counsellor that specialises in cancer trauma, if there are any cancer charities close to you or Maggie Centres any of these should have counselling services. 

    Remember we’re here to support you however we can.