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Sorry, I really shouldn't be posting on here as I've yet to be diagnosed. After 3 months and a battery of tests  I'm still no closer to an answer. I"m waiting for the next round of tests but it looks quite serious. I've just got to the stage where I just want to know. Is it OK to be scared when everything is pointing to a cancer diagnosis, but not confirmed? I've got 2 kids under 14 both with special needs and I worry for them and their future  especially as I'm an older mum in my 50s.

  • Hello LouisaC welcome to the group where none of us really wanted to join but glad we did. I remember so well being where you are at so well. I had tests just before Christmas two years ago and had to wait until the New Year before I got my diagnosis. So all over Christmas I was literally planning my funeral and looking at what I was going to share out to the children. It is really tough and many of us can fully sympathise with how you are feeling. You haven’t been diagnosed yet so you can hope it’s not anal cancer. If it is then it will be a relief that at least you know and you will be allocated a team to decide on which course of treatment is for you. I don’t want to bombard you with information as yet as you will be going through a lot of feelings of stress and worry. I hope you are not waiting too much longer for the other tests they need to do as this time is the worst for worry. Please keep in touch with how things are going. Take care


  • Hi LouisaC. I just wanted to add that, if it is anal cancer, it is very treatable. Best of luck xx

  • Hi  thanks so much for replying. Like most people  I'm usually rational and not prone to catastrophising but this has certainly thrown me. I'm constantly exhausted because of my existing symptoms so I  think I've just got myself into a worst case scenario loop. That being said, reading all the posts here has helped significantly as it's shown me the every day positives and negatives, should I be diagnosed. I can't thank you enough for your kind words and reassurance. I would like to say how amazing everyone is who share their journeys on here.

  • Thank you Puddy xx

  • Hi Louisa

    How can one not be scared? Especially in your situation? I sure hope you get answers very soon- as you say, knowing is better than not knowing!

    Anal cancer is no fun, but it does have a high rate of success in treatment. Fingers crossed that your symptoms turn out to be something easy and non-invasive.



  • Hi Suz, thank you for reply. 

  • Hello LouisaC

    Welcome to the forum although I am sorry that you have had to find us at a time of such uncertainty in your life.  My diagnosis took over 10 weeks as the early tests were all inconclusive and it was without doubt the most stressful and terrifying time of my life, so my heart goes out to you.  I'm not sure what tests they are planning next for you but hopefully you won't have to wait much longer for a definitive diagnosis.

    So of course it is OK to be scared; I find the older I get (and I a quite a bit older than you) the more scared I get, probably because there is so much more to go wrong.  Whatever it is, once you have a treatment plan in place, life does start to look more positive and you have an element of control that you don't have right now.  The fear and uncertainty can be overwhelming, we all understand that.

    Thinking of you, there is always support here if you need it, please let us know what happens.

    Irene xx

  • Hi  ,

    Firstly you don’t need permission from anyone to be frightened when you have any health crisis. The uncertainty of your situation can be as stressful as the actual diagnosis I’m sure. I remember going through tests & waiting on my biopsy results then receiving my diagnosis & wondering if I’d see my 2 daughters next birthdays, my eldest daughter has Down’s syndrome & I totally understand the worry that having a child with additional needs, no matter what their age, brings along with it. This was 5 years ago now & I’ve just received the official all clear & have been discharged. Research & treatments are moving forward all the time which means better survival rates for the majority of cancers. 

    I hope you get some answers soon, we’re here to support you should you need us.