Hi
I am new to the group but have wanted to join for a while and probably should have whilst I was undertaking treatment.
Anyway- just had my results back from my final MRI post treatment meeting and, I am still pinching myself that I was finally given some good news - the best news! ‘Cancer free’ my consultant told me. I was definitely not prepared for that outcome, having prepared myself for yet another shock instead.
The Chemoradiotherapy treatment appears to have completely zapped the nasty critter!
I am still emotionally all over the place however and catch myself crying at the drop of a hat. Life still feels so surreal and I’m expecting that it will take time to readjust to some kind of ‘norm’ since the 6.5 month rollercoaster ride, that’s if you ever get back to ‘norm’ after this.
I have already received my 3 month follow up date just two days after results.
I’m still experiencing some side effects , especially with bowel movements and was told that this may improve though might remain like this from now on. Still that’s a very small price to pay….
So, now onto the next stage where regular follow ups become the norm. Im a natural worrier, so I’ll likely begin to get anxious at least a month before each appointment- it’s like Pandora’s box I think where once the lid has been opened ( in this case cancer diagnosis) you can never completely forget / stop worrying about it ever again …
Hi Louise L & welcome to the Macmillan online community. I’m really sorry that you’ve had the need to find us but so pleased that you’ve joined us. This forum really was my saving grace following my own diagnosis.
Next, huge, huge congratulations on the fantastic news that you’ve received following your scans, it’s a wonderful feeling isn’t it?
Going on to follow-up appointments, ask anyone here & the scanxiety is real!! We’ve all had it & still get it much further down the line, it’s just the nature of the beast following something as devastating as a cancer diagnosis. I think the issue is that after you’ve had any major health event you lose complete trust in your own body don’t you? It’s something that has to be earned back over time but I do wonder, even though I’m almost at that magical ‘5 year clear’ mark & due for discharge should my next appointment go well, if cancer will ever completely disappear off my horizon. I can live most days without thinking about it now but I still have the odd anxiety ridden day of what ifs.
Anyway congratulations again on your fabulous news & remember we’re here should you need us or if you feel like sharing your journey further.
Nicola
Hi Louise, this is wonderful news! I'm near the end of treatment and part of me is wondering if it's worked / working. All the different stages we go through, as you say it sure is an emotional rollercoaster! Never quite get chance to settle and likewise I think it's natural most would always wonder if they'll remain cancer free in the future. The saying of 'living in the present moment' is even more so relevant!
Years ago I watched Kung Fu Panda with my son and never forgot a quote "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift that's why they call it present" by Master Oogway 
(yes I know this was said by another first! ha ha). I like this and reminds me to try to enjoy each moment as it comes. So, please try to enjoy the time between follow ups, don't focus on them so much or life just slips by and that's all you'll be living for (easier said than done I know!). Our new norm is a little adjusted...wish you all the very best ahead, many congratulations! Xx
