Hi, I am not the one with this but my mom is. We are still,as a family, trying to come to terms with diagnosis, treatment and outcome. For the last 10 years my mom has been treated by GP for constipation. We then moved in, as our new build was not finished, so we experienced first hand her agony. She was plied with laxatives etc. Then covid, so she was diagnosed over the phone and even more laxatives prescribed. She had a fall but nothing noted. 12 months on, we have moved into our new build she has another fall, top to bottom of stairs. She was taken to hospital on blues and twos. She was discharged within 12 hours. Then she has a letter to ask her to go for an appointment. She is 85, and assumed it was about her chipped hip. Totally unprepared, my dad with my mom attended the appointment to be told the Drs were 99% sure she had co rectal cancer. They wanted all tests done within 4 weeks. Needless to say this took 10 weeks. I went with them to the appointment after all the scans. She was told it was cancer and her only choice was a stoma. She really did not understand. The consultant was understanding and basically kept repeating there was nothing they could do except alleviate the symptoms. They prescribed quality of life over quantity. I have to say I was taking notes yet my parents were oblivious, totally shocked. We were taken with a nurse to another room to think about what to do. I have to add, my mom has rheumatoid arthritis so struggles with hand movements, with other things.
We were then shown how to attach bag etc, mom totally bewildered asked what I would do. Selfishly, I said I would have stoma as she is my om and I cannot bear to see her in so much pain. Within 6 hours of her decision she is booked in and has her op . Then the problem that she is not allowed home until many aids are in place.
Mom is home and managing her stoma quite well. I am not allowed to see or help but my 90 year old dad is! She has had palliative radiation which made her very tired.
However, in her head there are so many things she was told pre op that she cannot eat that now she will not include in her very limited diet.
She is awaiting her telephone consultation, after her post MRI yet she is convinced the tumour is bigger as she says she cannot sit for long as it is pushing out of her bottom.
As her anxious daughter, is this normal or is she right? Plus can she eat normally? Yesterday was her 87th birthday and she had a jacket potato as she is unsure what she can eat.
I know my mom is old and there are much younger people suffering too, but she is so used to doing as she is told she will not vary so her diet is very bland.
Today, even after palliative radiotherapy, she says she knows the tumour is bigger as she can feel it and finds sitting uncomfortable. How can I help and make her believe what he consultant is telling her.
Sorry for this missive but I am still reeling from this. As are my parents.
Hi there SAS58,
Firstly welcome to the Macmillan online community although I’m so sorry that you’ve had the need to find us! I’m also so sorry your poor mum is going through this right now & you’re having to experience her pain & discomfort.
Secondly is it Anal cancer your mum has been diagnosed with or colorectal cancer? Although they can be in a similar area, diagnosis, treatment etc., can be quite different. We’re more than happy to support you here on the Anal cancer forum although if it’s colorectal cancer you may find more relevant information here Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum just click on the link & it’ll take you straight there, you can join the group as you did here & easily copy & paste you post there.
Regarding tumour growth, it really is a very individual thing, personally I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma anal cancer which is supposedly a slow growing cancer although some people have reported otherwise. With your mum receiving palliative radiotherapy the radiotherapy itself can cause quite a bit of internal inflammation so it could be this that she’s experiencing maybe but either way I wouldn’t be waiting for her next telephone consultation I would be phoning her treating team to discuss her discomfort.
Onto foods etc., we also have another support group on the site Ileostomy, colostomy, urostomy and any other stoma support, I’m sorry if it seems I’m redirecting you all over the place but again this is probably where you’ll receive the best information regarding diet etc., following stoma surgery from what I understand I think you have to be a little careful with your diet straight after the surgery but once things settle down & the stoma is working properly then your diet can be expanded, I should imagine again there’s a certain amount of individuality & there’ll be an element of trial & error of what your mums stoma will tolerate & what it won’t.
I completely understand also how worried & anxious you must be with your mums diagnosis & all she’s going through right now & it’s only natural that all of your concerns are concentrated on this but please remember to look after yourself too, one last link I promise! Family and friends - Discussion Forum is a place where you can talk with others that are in a similar situation to yourself, family members & friends that are supporting someone that has received a cancer diagnosis need support also & sometimes sharing your experience with others in a similar situation can sometimes help & be a good stress release.
I hope this has all been of some help & please don’t hesitate to post on here at anytime.
Nicola
