Domt know what to do

Hi Kitkat67,

I’m so sorry that you’ve had this news. It all must be so exhausting for you. Is your radiotherapy & chemo due to begin soon? I hope you have a good support network around you at home & of course you know we’re here to virtually support you also.

Nicola 

Thanks Nikki. I live on my  own. My son who ive not told yetl lives with his dad but i  dont think he could  deal with it all, so ill tell him bit by bit. Hes only 21    My sister wants to help but she cant practically n she bombards me with questions sometimes n end up getting frustratef 

At moment i have a community nurse out every day

Few close friends i havent told yet. Told 2 people. I am so scared of chemo n radiotherapy but no dates as yet. My chemo will be strong i know that much. 

Dont know what,  how much or even how to tell people though i had a little script written but im not sure

Hi again Kitkat67, it’s a very personal thing regarding who you share your diagnosis with & if you do choose to share just how much information you share. When I was diagnosed I told close family, my daughter, parents, sister, 1 aunt & 5 of my closest friends. I’m not a great patient, I don’t do well with sympathy & I think this was probably me holding onto a little control in a situation that I had no control over if that makes sense. Do you find it easy to share the way you’re feeling with your community nurse? Maybe she could offer you some advice on how to tell the people that you want to tell. I felt almost guilty for the worry I caused the people closest to me. Your situation is a lot to deal with alone & you definitely need some support in dealing with what you’re going through right now. Remember you can always get support & advice via the Macmillan support line, the support line is open between 8am & 8pm (0808 808 00 00).

Nicola 

Hi Kitkat,

I agree with Nikki, your reluctance to tell people is understandable, but it'll be so much easier for you to cope if you can share it with someone. Your community nurse is an excellent resource- use her!

It can be easier under these circumstances to share with strangers rather than loved ones sometimes, can't it? A support group might be just the thing. Do you have someone to help you with rides to your treatments?

It's so hard to ask for help. But this is the time to do it. Shake that grapevine.

Hugs

Suz

Thankyou Suz. I have  now told my closest friends and their reaction has been brilliant.

• My sisters response.. Crap. I told her in a decent and polite way what was happening and what i didnt want. Shes took umbridge, which mcmillan nurse agreed after reading reply. She has upset me and again she says she understands but doesn't. Shes made it about her and even whwn it was my birthday in saturday all i get was a card. Its not the pressie its just she lives 20 mins away down motorway but didnt even ask what my plans were . Is that selfish? 

Hi Kitkat,

No clue what the dynamic between you and your sister means, but if she's upsetting you, she's not helpful right now, so I suggest you contact her less for the time being. 

I'm so glad your closest friends have responded in much more helpful and supportive ways, so they're the ones to go to. I imagine you're feeling like a punching bag right now, with having felt relief and readiness to move on only to get hit with this. I sure hope you're able to give yourself some grace, and that means all non-treatment time spent taking really, really excellent care of yourself, and asking for help when you need it.

Have you reached out to the MacMillan support line yet? Living alone it's all the more important that you push past the comfort zone and get your nurse and your community in your circle to help you. 

Sending you strength!