I was diagnosed May 2021 with Stage 4 anal-rectal cancer, basaloid squamous cell carcinoma with several lymph nodes involved and a spot on the left lung. I have had six cycles of Paclitaxel and Carboplatin, and yesterday I had my first appointment with the clinical oncologist who outlined the next stage of treatment - 28 combined radiation/chemo with Capecitabine. When the radiation is finished I am scheduled to have two ablations on the spots on lungs (don't know when the second spot appeared). Prior to my diagnosis I had no real symptoms; feeling tired and slightly loose stools but zero pain.
In the beginning I found it very hard to cope. I look back at how I felt, I actually cleared out a lot of my wardrobe feeling I am not going to need these clothes any more, I threw out old diaries, letters, I suppose tidying up my life. I have a lovely GP who prescribed anti-depressants which have been a huge help but every time I have to see a consultant I am quaking. I always ask if I can record the appointment because I am incapable of absorbing everything that is said to me. I didn't visit forums for a long long time, everything I read just gave me more to worry about.
I managed well with the visits to the very friendly chemo unit and it became the norm for the best part of six months. Now I have had to meet new consultants and all the crippling fear is back. However that was yesterday, and the next appointment is getting me prepared for the treatment. I was told yesterday of many of the side effects I can expect and have found reading through how people coped most helpful.
This morning I was wallowing in self-pity - I just want my old carefree life back - but of course I only have to see here that many of you are going through similar. I'd be interested in hearing from any of you who have or had the same cancer as me.
Thank you for reading this far.
Hi there Irene75359,
Firstly welcome to our little corner of the Macmillan online community although I’m sorry that you’ve had the need to find us.
You’ll find many of us here have been diagnosed with anal squamous cell carcinoma, all different stages, most of us have also been through the standard chemoradiotherapy treatment that you’re facing now. You’ve really been through so much already with your chemo & I’m so sorry you’re having to face another course of treatment. I think we can all sympathise with the feelings of fear when attending appointments etc., & it’s great that you thought of recording your appointments as there’s often so much information to take in & I understand completely the build up of all that stress prior to the appointment stops you being able to retain any of it!! I’m also pleased you had the good sense to see your GP & get some medication that’s helping you cope with what you’re going through right now. Regarding side effects of the chemoradiotherapy your oncologist has to tell you the full range of side effects although that doesn’t mean you’re going to get them all, we’re all individuals & although there’s a common thread our reactions are individual also.
I understand that you have your lymph & lung mets to deal with as well as your primary cancer but many of us here have managed to get our lives back following treatment etc., so please try not to lose sight of that.
We’re here to offer support whenever you need it & also for a chat or if you just fancy a moan about the unfairness of it all. There’s lots of us that have gained many useful tips along the way for coping with the side effects of this treatment & will be happy to share if you need/want us to.
Nicola
