Struggling with 3rd round of Chemo

Hi ,

I don’t have experience with the chemo that you’re having right now but I just felt I needed to reply & say how very sorry I am that you’re going through all of this. The side effects must have you at a very low ebb to be contemplating stopping treatment, this is a very personal decision I understand & hope that you know we’re here to support you whatever you decide to do. 

Nicola 

Thanks Nicola, I’m very frustrated at the moment and unsure what to do. I’m only 52 have a fabulous husband, Daughter and grandson in fact a great family and friends.

I just need to discuss with doctor next week as to whether they can improve treatment experience or else I think I’d rather have some fun months with my family instead of suffering in vein.

I could live a year but they think more like 6 months it’s a big decision for sure xx 

Hi , I wanted to echo Nicola & say how sorry I am that you’re in this situation.

Have you talked to your palliative care team about it?  Maybe they have ways of helping with the symptoms?  Mine are brilliant, totally on my side, & allowed me to explore difficult decisions soon after diagnosis.  It feels to me like the hospital’s job is to prolong life as long as possible, & the palliative team’s job is to help people with balancing quality vs quantity of life & respecting whatever decisions we make.

I’m 69 & single so our lives are rather different, but after RT I decided not to return to hospital for any scans or treatment - all appts are now by phone only.

Wish you strength & wisdom to make the least worst choices!  xx Toni

Hi Toni,

thanks for getting in touch and it sounds like you’ve had quite the ordeal yourself and you sound incredibly strong!

My palliative team and doctor are great they’ve been on the phone to me several times today and really wanted to admit me due to such severe diarrhoea it can damage my kidneys with the chemo I’m on but having got things under control I managed to stay home.

they will look at all options this week and so  I will have an informed decision. I guess the more chemo you have the worse it is and it’s hard to find people going through the same treatment at the same stage as yourself to compare to.

ive always said from when I was told I was terminal that I’ll always choose quality over quantity xxxx

i am sending you all of my very best wishes and a big hug x

Hi again ,

I can totally sympathise with your frustration & really the decision that stands before you is a heartbreakingly difficult one, I’m almost 56 & to be faced with this decision is unimaginable when there’s so much more I want to do in life, it shows how unprepared we all are to relinquish what this mortal coil has to offer doesn’t it? 

I’m pleased you have good support in your palliative care team & your doctor & I’m in no doubt they’ll continue providing you with all the information & support you need to make an informed decision concerning your future.

I think when we’re given a cancer diagnosis for many of us all of our focus is on cure & survival but as you’ve said perspectives change once your given a terminal diagnosis & although it’s almost impossible to comprehend I can understand the quality over quantity choice that you’re considering & hope that if ever I’m faced with that choice I can show the strength & bravery that both yourself &  Toni8776 have & are showing. 

Sending lots of healing thoughts your way.

Nicola

Hi Julie,

I haven't checked in before, but I know you planned to discuss your options this week, and since your original post, I keep thinking of you and hoping you get promising options and pathways! I'm 50 years old and only three months out from treatment (with stage 3a anal cancer - two lymph nodes were involved), so I'm at a different place, but my mind often wanders to the scenario of a reoccurrence. Your attitude and realism resonated with me, and I admire your philosophy about living the best life!   

Anyway, I only wrote to say I'm thinking of you and sending warmth and sunshine your way. I'm so happy you have a loving family to support you through this. We are here too! 

All the best,

Sarah