Hi all
I'm after a bit advice ..
I have 6 days left of my 28 days (yippppeee)..
Yesterday I missed an appointment with a nurse due to a mix up to discuss dilators..they are going to re arrange for next week before my treatment ends..
I'm feeling a little anxious about expectations and use of these..im so sore below at the moment the thought of having to use these scares me..
Does anyone have any advice?
I'm assuming it's a gradual process that's used when the skin heals?
I'm 57 and want to continue with the physical side with my hubby so trying to set my expectations on what happens..
Thanks a million X
So well done Squeak - only six days to go!
I wasn't given dilators until well after treatment ended, I baulked at at a DRE never mind putting something in my vagina - everything was red-raw and swollen with no skin. But once I was a bit better, I used the dilators provided by the NHS. They are fairly hard plastic in a range of sizes, and you start with the smallest size to be inserted with lots of lube. Others have found silicone ones online a bit more comfortable to use (unfortunately they are quite pricy). I managed up to the next to largest size. However the biggest problem for me was the perineum, that skin is very very thin and split when my husband and I attempted to have sex. I read on here that another forum member massaged the area with coconut oil which helped, I am trying that but it is a work in progress! But not everyone has the same problems with their skin that I have. So I think key is lots of moisturising and lots of patience from both partners.
Wishing you lots of luck and success too.
Irene xx
Thank you..I was panicking but I have time to look forward to the adventures that using them will entail..
Im so looking forward to my treatment finishing on 13th Feb..those daily journies are exhausting..
Thank you
X
Squeak
Wow Squeak. , just 6 treatments left! It’ll fly by. I bet you can’t wait!
I was way too sore to start using the dilators straight away, I waited until my skin had healed & things had settled down down there before I attempted anything. As Irene has said the NHS sets are quite hard plastic, for me they were ok though, others purchase silicone ones which I’ve heard are more comfortable to use. My set came with 4 in a range of sizes, I began with the smallest & worked my way up. Many find a water based lubricant to use alongside also. Just take it at your own pace, if you find when you try that things are still too sore wait a little while then try again, it’s all trial & error.
Wishing you the very best of luck with the remainder of your treatment.
Nicola
Thanks Nicola
I have been looking on line also to see which ones have the best review..something I never thought I would do..but I guess AC for us all there is a lots of new experiences..
Yes 6 treatments left until I ring the bell to say initial treatment finished.. got my hubby and sons coming in that day to take a video..think I will be an emotional wreck.
It's been a Rollercoaster of emotions and feelings over the past few months but have to say this forum has kept me sane when all my fears and anxiety was getting overwhelming.
Thanks again for your feedback
X
Squeak
Thank youBungle1
I think we all prepare for the worst and if it's not as bad then it's a win ha..
I've recently started the oramorph (last night) I'm hoping that will keep the pain away now until my hospital journeys are over..
I'm feeling a bit of a softie for giving into the pain.. but needs must.. my doctor has told me to use the meds as has my hubby.. just feeling a bit of a failure.. but I'm sure by next week I will be loving the pain relief..
Thank you for taking the time out to reply.. you all are truly amazing xx
Squeak
Hi Squeak,
As some have said, wait until you have healed before attempting to try the dilators. I think I was given them when I was around four weeks post treatment but I did purchase the silicone ones and order the first set of four with the smallest not much bigger than my index finger but it was a start. To help relax the muscles when you are ready you could have a nice warm bath and then when you are ready you can use a lubricant to massage around your vagina and on the dilator. It all sounds very unsexy but perseverance pays off.
Great that you are near the end of your treatment and will be able to concentrate on healing without the daily trek to and from hospital.
Julie
Squeak
Honestly, please give your head a gentle wobble! This is not the time to be a hero, and my oncologist told me right at the beginning you will need opioid drugs for the pain towards the end of treatment, and boy, I certainly did. And I view myself as being quite stoic and tough but the back passage pain combined with constant diarrhoea was unbearable, I used to drum my heels and gasp out loud.
You will get there Squeak, take all the help you can get.
Irene xx
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007