Managing fatigue

Aw, Ker, that must be SO hard, trying to manage your own care while parenting such young kids! Can you parcel out your time a bit? Spent 20 minutes with them, maybe each of them, when they get home from school so they feel connected to Mum. Then have your help take over, and you remove yourself. Go to your room, door closed, and lie down. 

They probably need to get out and run around and ride bikes and buck and kick for a bit, and that's when you call on your help to let them do it safely- and while you rest.

Exercise was NOT on the menu for me while I was going through treatments. I tried to make myself walk up and down the driveway- about 1/10th of a mile- a few times a day but many days that didn't happen at all. I'm always astonished to hear of folks who write dissertations and keep up their marathon training while dealing with this cancer. 

Guilt is the worst. It's so hard to avoid, and so poisonous. 

Give yourself all the grace you can. You're going to be around to give those kids LOTS AND LOTS of wonderful days in the future. If yo'ure MIA- or a little short and snappish- in the short term, it won't do any damage. 

Put on your own oxygen mask and rest all you can now so you can be here for all the tomorrows.

Suz

Hi Ker25,

It must be so difficult with such a young family but you will definitely need to rest during & for at least the couple of weeks after your treatment has finished. Fatigue was a huge side effect of the chemoradiotherapy for me & I found I was having to have a nap on an afternoon, generally after getting back from the hospital, then I would still be ready for bed by 9pm! I couldn’t have exercised my way through the fatigue, tiredness yes but fatigue is a completely different animal it’s literally like hitting a brick wall. 

I know they’re still pretty young but have your children been told that you’re ‘not very well’ at the moment? I agree with what Suz (ridetbred) has suggested to try & be there when they come in from school/nursery & spend a little time with them & then let someone take over & remove yourself from where the children are in the house, probably to your room, reassure them that you’ll be back soon but you need a little rest, I would also try & make them understand when your bedroom door is closed that means you’re sleeping & they’re not to disturb you as you need to rest to make you feel better. Maybe whoever is supporting you could take them off to the park or on a walk to burn off some of that endless energy that they have at this age! Setting some boundaries as in the children not disturbing you when your bedroom door is closed will allow you to get the rest you need & hopefully avoid you being short tempered, which I must say is totally understandable, but also the guilt you’re feeling afterwards. 

You’re doing an amazing job dealing with this diagnosis & subsequent treatment & raising a young family so don’t ever think you don’t deserve time out for yourself, I know we carry a lot of ‘mum guilt’ when we can’t be there for our kids 24/7 but remember this is short-term & this next 5-7 weeks is going to hopefully give your children their mum back for many, many years to come. 

Take care.

Nicola 

Going through this chemo/radiotherapy treatment is very tough, but going through it with a young family must be so much worse - my heart goes out to you, the fatigue can be overwhelming.  I slept most of the time every single day and afterwards for a number of weeks after treatment ended.  Please don't feel guilty, you need to concentrate on getting through this and children are remarkably resilient, when all this is over (and it is for a short period although it won't seem like it right now) they are highly unlikely to remember.  I completely agree with the others, involve your them in what is happening to you and let those that are helping you be a buffer when you really need to rest.  And, if it is at all possible, could your helpers look after them away from your home?  I find with my grandchildren (similar ages) that if they are with me in my house they are quite content and don't ask for their Mum but on home ground they are much less obliging. 

We are all thinking of you.

Irene xx

Hi Ker25,

I'm so sorry you have to go through this My heart goes out to you! When I was going through chemo and radiation, I was so tired. Fatigue set in early and stayed for a long time. At the time, my daughter was a newborn so my husband and I decided to ask family to move in with us. My in-laws stayed with us for two months. For me the hardest part of treatment was the last week and the week after treatment. If it's possible, I would highly recommend having family or a close friend stay with you so you can focus on your health. Keeping you in my thoughts!

Hopie

Thankyou for replying. I think that’s a good idea. Hope your on the other side now xx

hi Ker25 :-), i cannot imagine how difficult it must be to cope with your little ones while going through treatment. however, on the exercise front, it has really helped me a lot. i normally walk between 3 and 6 kilometres a day and although that diminished during treatment in the last week and post treatment, i have tried hard to keep doing even small walks and it does make me feel more alive. it is 3 months now since treatment finished and life is far from easy, but i do walk when i can and being outside in the fresh air is just sooo good. my children, now all adult have been the greatest of help and gently nudged me into short walks when i really felt i just wanted to curl up into a ball and be left alone - that passes fortunately :-).

take care and all the very best,

ffion.