Hi all. I'm posting despite not having a diagnosis, so I hope it's OK to do so, given my problems are nothing in comparison to what others are going through. I first posted in this group last Sept and received some great advice. Unfortunately my issues are ongoing and taking such a toll on me, physically and mentally. It started in April 2018 with bowel changes, mucus and stomach problems. I got myself in a complete state, worrying that I had a life threatening illness. I am a worrier by nature and have suffered with anxiety. I was treated extremely well by the NHS in terms of support and also had a CT pneumocolon and a couple of DREs, which all came back normal. After this I developed a 'hemorrhoid', despite not being constipated. It was much harder than a typical hemorrhoid, like a small marble to touch and moved around. I had another DRE and an anascopy with a colorectal surgeon who said nothing to worry about. In the meantime, I also developed gynae problems, burning, pain and I could feel lumps. I saw a great gynaecologist who agreed the lumps needed looking at, so I certainly was not imagining things. I had Vulva mapping under GA, which thankfully came back OK. No SCC, no pre cancer, just some inflammation to be treated with a steroid. While all this was going on, I was seeing a counsellor and put on antidepressants due to stress. I totally appreciate that all these body issues can be caused by the stress and anxiety my body was under. Regarding the hemorrhoid, after a couple of months it seemed to settle down, but I was left with a 'residual' lump. Not a skin tag, but what felt like a small bump on the anal verge, which never went away. My bowel habits seemed to calm down and the steroid for the gynae issues helped. Things seemed better. Fast forward a couple of months and now the 'hemorrhoid' is back with a vengeance and the small, hard ball is still there. I have burning in my back passage, mucus in stools and going more regularly again. I honestly don't know what to do. This lump does not feel like a hemorrhoid, but I know a GP would take a quick look and say it is just that. I know how paranoid I sound! But at the same time I am presuming that something serious wouldn't tend to calm down for a few months and then start back up but would actually get progressively worse? It's really hard for me because I can't talk to the people around me as they will only worry I am becoming anxious and stressed again. Thanks for listening xx
Hi Sarah.
I saw the consultant last week and had a DRE and a 'rigid sigmoidoscopy'. He said I have some very moderate internal piles (they don't cause me any discomfort at all) and that there was nothing in terms of worrying abnormalities or anything internally he could feel. He said that the external bump area, which was the one I was having problems with last year is something he would refer to as something akin to a 'perianal varix' and it is nothing to be concerned about and residual from a nasty hemorrhoid flare up last year.
He said there were no other skin areas he could see that raised any concern, and they I had a 'healthy mucousa' in the anus. So, all in all he was very thorough - and like he said, he is 'the connoisseur' in the area, not me. Strange choice of word he used, but there you go 
So, I suppose at this stage I need to start trusting the experts. I'm the first to admit I have anxiety issues, and very much catastrophise and jump to worst case scenarios. It's just having these uncomfortable and ongoing issues is hard to switch off from at times. Though I know fixating on things makes them a lot worse. I am seeing someone for CBT now and I'm going to try to start regular exercise, as well as to get a bit fitter, lose a bit of weight and to try and help my mental health.
I guess sometimes we have lumps, bumps and all sorts, and it's sensible to keep an eye on things and speak experts. But it's also sensible to trust in these experts too at times.
Thanks for listening, wishing you the very best, Rhi xxx
Hi
Great to hear from you again, its good that you provide updates as someone may experience something similar in the future and will be able to refer back to your posts.
Sounds like you’ve had a very thorough examination and I am so pleased that following this, your consultant doesn’t have any concerns. I hope this has put your mind at rest. It will probably take a little time for you to completely relax about it all but in the meantime, I think some 'self-care' is a great idea for you physically and mentally. I run and do yoga regularly and its really helps me to feel good and healthy.
No doubt you will continue to keep your eye on things but, yes, I agree that after all the tests and examinations you’ve had you should probably put your trust in your medical professionals now. You don’t have anal cancer - YAY!
All the best and in the nicest possible sense, I hope I don’t see you on here again!!! 
Sarah x
