Brill news

Hello AW3,

That is just the best news ever, I am so happy for you.  I can imagine you are in quite a euphoric state at the moment, I remember how worried you were.

Another forum member remarked that her body is cured but the head is never will be - the trauma of a cancer diagnosis is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.  It is so much to process and even though you are given the all clear there is always the fear that it will return.  But the good news is that as time passes and your have further clear scans, the fear does recede (except around scan times).  There are people on here who have benefitted from counselling afterwards, and it would be something that you could definitely explore if you feel you need help - lots of us do.  The MacMillan help-line can point you in the right direction, and if you have a Maggie's near you it is the most wonderful oasis of peace and tranquility staffed by experienced cancer professionals.

Sending a big hug, AW3, we are always here too if you need online support.

Irene xx

Hi and thanks for your reply. 
Yes you are absolutely right. It’s the fear of it coming back that also worries me. I suppose the majority are the same. Perhaps as you say, the more scans etc I have (even though they create massive anxiety) and the longer time passes I may relax somewhat but as for now I just don’t know where to start. I am happy and grateful the treatment worked and very lucky to be in this situation now. 
I did start counselling but didn’t feel it was the right time as I felt I wasn’t benefitting from it at the time however, I only need to contact Macmillan again and restart the sessions. Unfortunately there isn’t a Maggies anywhere near me as having somewhere like that I feel would benefit me greatly.

Thanks again for your reply, take care x

That's great news, such a relief for you.

As to how you move on? Slowly, is all I can say. Sometimes I would wake up thinking I still had cancer and had to remind myself no. Some days I felt grateful to whoever was responsible for my successful treatment, some days I felt 'What the hell just happened?'

But as the days went by, I levelled out and I came to realise how fortunate I had been to have a cancer that could be treated, and that had good results; the treatment was not major surgery, or nine months of chemotherapy like some, albeit a tough gig whilst it was happening. And as the days went by I just felt better, more often.

Some days I do still feel a little wobbly, but as time passes it gets less. I think talking helped, and reading these posts definitely made me see there was still joy to come. 

Just be kind to yourself, do the things which give you pleasure, and don't push yourself to feel - or be - anything. You'll get there.

xxx

Fantastic news i am absolutely delighted for you xxxx

Hi AW3

That's brilliant news . As to how you move on, I don't have the all clear yet and trying to work that one out myself. Like Irene said maybe counselling would help. Just be kind to yourself you have been through a lot and take it one day at a time. Sending hugs. Xx

Such wonderful news for you, congratulations.

As to what next etc? For me Stockholm Syndrome always comes to mind.

It’s like we have been hostage to our cancers, the treatment and our recovery. We were trapped and now perhaps we have forgotten what it is like to be free and fear going back out into the big wide world.

Perhaps the point is, we can’t go back out there because our life has changed and we have to find a way to go forward. I reckon for many of us that will be process that may take time.

We will all get there, to our new normal and I am sure it will be a brave new world.

Really good luck I hope you learn to really enjoy your new normal.

X

Amazing news! I get the fear and the what now though. One thing this experience has taught me is to live every day. Even if living is cuddling on the sofa with the dogs. Trying to keep the mind positive in a realistic way. Because you have had cancer you are now wrapped in care so that means frequent scans and checks - that is reassuring me a bit. I’m delighted you had this great news. Go softly forward x

Hi AW3,

Great news about your results- so pleased for you!

 I can absolutely understand what you mean about how to move on. The whole diagnosis and treatment journey takes up so much headspace doesn’t it that perhaps it’s only once we get past that that we begin to process the whole trauma psychologically. The body may be clear but the mind is still a bit shell shocked!

Im waiting for the results of the first post treatment scan so can’t really advise but sounds like wise advice from the others to go slowly and be kind to yourself.

Really glad you have had good news x

Hi AW3 ,

This is amazing news! Congratulations! 

I absolutely agree with what’s been said here about accessing some counselling if you feel you’re struggling moving forward from this whole ordeal. The psychological impact of any major health event including a cancer diagnosis is huge & speaking with a professional will hopefully help you. There are counsellors out there that specialise in cancer specific therapy so it would be worth asking the question if you choose to go down that route. As Irene has pointed out if you struggle getting a referral then give the MacMillan Helpline a call or if you have a Maggies centre near you I know our local Maggies have a counselling service available. 

Sending healing thoughts your way. 

Nicola 

Thank you for your reply.

yes I also am very grateful to the nhs for all the treatment and like you say fortunate to having a cancer that it treatable. I always try and tell myself that there is always someone worse off which snaps me out of feeling sorry for myself. 
I will take each day as it comes and hopefully will get there. I’ve not gone back to work yet so that will be pretty stressful as having to deal with other peoples problems whilst having my own I’m guessing will be hard.

X