Squamous cell carcinoma of rectum and inguinal node

Hi Debz. Wow. I’m very surprised by that response from your Mums oncologist - that must have been very difficult for both of you. The treatment is tough - but short. Short and sharp- but with a high success rate. I’d definitely be asking for a second opinion. I can’t give my opinion on what it would be like for her because I’m 37 - but there is a broad range of ages on this page, and you can use the search function to check peoples experiences. We are all here to support you and Mum , and any questions to have. Lots of love to you both xx 

Hi Debz89,

Firstly welcome to the Macmillan online community & I’m really sorry that your mum has received this diagnosis. 

As Arightbumdeal has said there is a wide age range of members here although not everyone reveals their age so it’s a little difficult to know offhand if there’s anyone close to your mums age unless they see your post & volunteer a reply. The treatment can be tough, as has already been said it’s short & sharp & the chemo side of the treatment can have cardiac repercussions on rare occasions but if your mum is otherwise healthy then I think I too would be seeking a second opinion. I definitely think some oncologists get a little too used to delivering bad news & can sometimes seem quite blunt & this must be awful when you land at the feet of someone who has this attitude! Receiving any kind of devastating news such as a cancer diagnosis & going forward to discussions about treatment etc., requires tact & a sympathetic approach & personally I think anything other than that just isn’t acceptable. Please let us know how you & your mum get on if you decide to go for a second opinion. We’re always here for support for you both. 

Nicola 

Thank you so much, shes making an appointment to speak to her gp about it and see where we go from here.

Hello Debz, what a disappointing outcome.  Do you mind me asking where you are?  I am attending the major cancer hospital in Surrey and yesterday there was a lady in the next cubicle to me who must have definitely been in her 80s, waiting for radiotherapy.  The staff were looking after her very well and were advising on pain relief to help with the treatment.  Earlier in the week, I was in the chemo ward, and a chap opposite me was DOB 1951 and he was there for his regular treatment, and these two are definitely not the only two older patients I have seen, I have seen many more at the first hospital that I attended for chemo.

My father died at 90 from cancer and I regret to this day not being there as the oncologist did exactly the same thing with him, he was exremely healthy, no co-morbidities and still hiking in the Scottish hills and having long power walks every day.  He would have jumped at the chance had he been given it, and at the time we all just accepted there was nothing that could have been done to at least give him a bit more time.  Of course this was my experience before having my own cancer journey.

It would probably be helpful if you attended with her if she asks for a second opinion; if she is anything like my parents, they were old-school and wouldn't have dreamt of contradicting the doctor!  The very best of luck, please come back and let us know how you both are.