I don't know how I feel.

How are you feeling today? How's you husband ? xx

How are you Wee, and how's hubby today xx

Hello everyone. I am also in the same position, my husband is palliative with terminal cancer he  is only 55 was diagnosed with head neck cancer last February he went through gruelling 34 radiotherapy during lock down he was suppose to have a couple lots of chemo with it but Doctors decided not to give as greater risk of COVID, my husband was willing to take the risk but they would not give. The cancer in tonsil, soft palate etc has gone but a scan revealed it has metastasised to both lungs. He was feeling not too bad for a few months apart from no taste and difficult to eat a lot of foods. Now the disease is progressing so fast he has lost so much weight, he feels very fatigued short of breath on slight exertion. He has lost his voice completely. I feel the same as Viv 2021, i almost still can’t believe it is happening we had so many dreams/plans. It is so cruel . I am now feeling lonely frightened and finding it difficult to cope with he is now using a mobility scooter although wanting to just stay in side lying on the bed we have been supplied with downstairs, I cry myself to sleep then wake hourly can’t believe the pace it has taken, I slept in our bed one night but felt so lonely so have now been lent a z bed to put by the side of his downstairs. It feels he is drifting away from me, everything is so different I feel no longer his wife but his carer. obviously this is what I want to do and it is his wishes to remain at home. My head is all over the place it is a horrendous experience. 

Gentlewaves,  ifs so hard to believe,  my hubby was in great health, then he got tired and lost weight. Now they are sayings it's everywhere  and he has maybe 2 or 3 months.  He doesn't realise  how bad this is, he's starting chemotherapy in a few weeks, from speaking to doctors this will be very hard on him, and won't cure the cancer just possibly give him a bit longer. I wish they had given your husband the chemo it must be so difficult for you both. I understand how you feel I also feel like a carer, I do whatever I can for him as we all do, its so sad and hard to stay strong, we have a daughter who is taking it so bad I just want to help her though this. I know how you feel about being lonely,  I think we all do. But we have each other xxx

Feel so sad Thank you for sharing your story. My husband did have 3 sessions of chemo for the lung metasteses but unfortunately it didn’t help so they stopped it . My husband has a son with learning difficulties so he doesn’t understand but my children are finding it very hard they are 19 and 22 , so as you say it is looking after them too. We have got community palliative care nurse but the hospice near us is only mon-Friday 9-5 and so far have not helped . It is all so unbelievable and very sad. 
I hope your husband can have chemo and ot does help him and give you all more time together. Also, hope you have family and friends support as well as on here. Takecare xx

Hi Feelsosad

thanks for asking. He's ok -ish today. Physically he's still fit apart from this pain in his back. Mentally is were he struggles more and that side hasn't been great for the last day or two. HIs speech has been very confused and he's very confused. He just mutters its a bad brain day but we've had more bad brain days than good ones for the last couple of weeks. He's anxious about getting his MRI results from the oncologist next week.Don't think any of us want to hear them. 

One step at a time.

How are you today?

stay strong

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Hi Wee Me, is he on steroids? Michael has been to stop swelling on brain. Dose reducing every 5 days, dont know what happens when they stop. Waiting results is awful, when you don't know you have hope, but filled with dread.. I wish you all the best and hopefully better days ahead xxx

Hi. Not just now. He was on them in Oct/Nov while he went through chemo/radiotherapy but sneaky thing decided he didn't like taking them and began binning them without telling me. I was furious with him! When I asked if he knew why he was to take them he said no but he didn't like them so he wasn't taking them. He had been taking them to prevent swelling on the brain. Men! When his CNS found out, she gave him a lecture about how dangerous that could have been.  All he's taking is Keppra to prevent seizures and Dalteparin injections for the blood clots plus painkillers when he needs them.

take care

love n hugs

Wee Me x

All men must be the same. Michael just takes what I give him (he's afraid not to because I shout) When in hospital he had problems with the brain one day he couldn't talk or move his right side thankfully steroids stopped that, but for how long I dont know. Hopefully you get some better days xxx