Husband in hospital

My husband lost his fight a few hours after i posted this. His battle is over. Daughter will be home with us in a few hours after the worst journey she will ever have to make. I think we are still in shock. My role is finished looking after him. 

Mabelmum, I am so very sorry and saddened to hear this. I was coming on to respond to your original post. As you are probably realising now, nothing can prepare you. My husband passed away late November after a very intense 3 week hospital stay, he broke his leg and then just deteriorated. We knew of course that he was very ill but nothing could have prepared us for the dramatic end and we are still in shock. Something that has stuck with me - My 13 year old was adamant that he hadn’t lost his battle, that he wasn’t a loser. Cancer hadn’t destroyed his spirit, his heart, his positivity. Cancer is a greater evil and sometimes there’s not a fight to be had. It’s just a heartbreaking, cruel journey.
Your role is not over, ensure that his life is celebrated. You may not have an ounce of positivity in you right now but planning a celebration of his life really helped me. Listening to his favourite songs, looking through photos, remembering happy times and what he stood for.  Hearing what he meant to others... Cry, go for a walk, scream. But be kind to yourself, try and eat and wrap yourself in the love and condolences of others. Sending a huge virtual hug xx

Thank you Messymum, I am so sorry for your loss. No i agree, he just became too tired to fight and he asked them to remove the equipment, he made a brave choice but he would have hated not having any quality of life. He was  very much an outdoor person loved birds animals and nature. Very wise words from your young son. Thank you this has helped me. I have to learn how to be an adult without him as i was sixteen when we first were together, 42 years. I have been so moved by the kindness of family and friends and they are all saying that he was always the first to help them. Carry on looking after your self too. virtual hug gratefully received  and one returned to you. xxxx