Hi, my brother and I are currently caring for my mum who has T4bN0 posterior pharyngeal wall cancer. She has just completed a short course of palliative radiotherapy to ease the symptoms, and doesnt see the consultant now until end of February.
We do not know how long she has.
She has been quite unwell the last 3 weeks, needing one of us with her throughout the days and overnights. We think its side effects from the radiotherapy. She is needing assistance with meals, medications, showering etc, and also general supervision for her safety as she is extremely fatigued and weak. She also has bronchiectasis and lupus.
We are struggling to cope, are not spending much time with our families. We have both been off work, but we cannot continue to do this much longer. We would never leave her like this, it is so very sad. But our children also need us:(
We have had palliative care team visit, who then referred mum to district nurses who came out to see her. The GP has also been involved.
We have explained to all of these teams that we need help to care for mum, and they say they understand and will make the referrals, but we are now two weeks later and are still struggling along with no help.
How are we expected to provide safe care for mum during this time of increased needs, when we have responsibilities to our families and jobs also?
I constantly feel like im letting someone down, whether its my children or my mum
Hi Hk18
Sorry to hear about what you are going through.
The first step is unually getting a needs assessment - see here.You might also like to consider getting a carers assessment at the same time as that can help to look after you.
My mum had carers come in a couple fo times a day and that was very helpful, later as their needs progressed they moved in to a sheltered housing project where they had their own flat but there was an onsite warden who could help in an emergency. In the end my dad was taken ill and he ended up in a care home with us arranging visits for my mum.
Hope you get some answers soon.
<<hugs>>
Steve
