Who would have guessed what finally made me cry?

  • 4 replies
  • 19 subscribers
  • 170 views

Four days post-op following a wide local excision and sentinel lymph node biopsy.

It has all happened so quickly since my non-palpable breast cancer was detected on a routine mammogram just seven weeks ago. Since then, there have been more mammograms, an ultrasound, a biopsy, a titanium clip insertion, an MRI, Magseed placement, a pre-op assessment, and finally surgery.

It has felt like a rollercoaster. Throughout it all, I haven't outwardly shown much emotion, nor have I really felt overwhelmed by it. But today, after four days of taking codeine and becoming uncomfortably constipated, I popped into the pharmacy to ask for some advice and unexpectedly burst into tears.

Thankfully, senna has resolved the immediate problem, and I feel ready to carry on with the next stage of the challenge. I've been advised to reduce the codeine to one tablet a day and see how I get on.

My medical team have been absolutely amazing throughout.

Isn't it strange what finally tips you over the edge?

  • Hi  

    Welcome to the MacMillan community. I am sorry you have breast cancer and am not surprised to hear the emotion has hit you a few days after your surgery. From the mammogram recall you go straight onto a train hurtling through procedures and information until you pop up for air and start to process everything that has happened. Don’t be surprised if it happens again, as you say it can be the strangest things that get you. 

    The community is divided into different forums by cancer type. You might like to join our Breast cancer forum where you are sure to get lots of support from fellow travellers. I am one of the community champions over there. 

    Community Champion badge

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

    I am a Macmillan volunteer.

    I have metastatic Triple Negative Breast Cancer, in remission

  • I finished treatment in December 2025, I was first recalled December 2024 and had 3 vacuum biopsies, wires inserted, punch biopsy, local excision and then wider excision partial mammoplasty with the other breast worked upon to look symmetrical. I then had 5 radiography sessions. I was diagnosed with DCIS non invasive. During all this I was treat appallingly at work and even had to work back time from my radiotherapy and hospital appts. Since then I have had to have increased antidepressants and my doctor believes I am stuck in survivor mode as I am like you and haven't shown any outward emotions. I have had CBT and although I have felt like crying at times I haven't. I feel stuck. 

  • Hi  firstly it's disgusting how your employer has treated you. If you are in the UK while it's a bit of a grey area their treatment of you maybe classed as discrimination. I had a different cancer to you and it took the best part of 2 years for me to cry about anything I was beginning to think it would never happen but it did although I don't feel I cried about the cancer and now I seem to have gone back to not being able to. I can understand the feeling stuck, I decribe mine more as lost. Sending hugs. Xx

  • Thanks Bungle1, I am in the midst of a grievance because they also marked me down on my appraisal because I hadn't been able to manage to do everything they asked. They have made an horrendous situation even worse and I feel I am still having to fight