Struggling

Hi sarah53and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but I am so sorry to hear about your mum.

This is such a stressful and challenging time but talking with and getting support from people who have walked or are walking the ‘exact same' journey can help a lot.

The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our general cancer……

Carers only 

Supporting someone with incurable cancer

……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

As always the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

I’m in the same position with my Dad  please talk to me if you need to I’m really struggling as well 

Hi thanks for your reply. What is your dad's situation?

89 today currently in hospital with bowel cancer that has spread to lungs and liver. They are trying to get him home soon with carers coming in 4 times a day. Nobody has told us what to expect how he will deteriorate etc it’s a nightmare 

I am so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you and your near ones.I would think that because of your dad's situation they will have a plan for him. I can't even imagine how you must feel sweetie. My situation is a lot different from yours and I wish I could take away your pain and anxiety. I don't know about you but I don't think I can cope when my mum goes xx

What is your situation is your Mum at home 

1. Yes, she was in hospital for 6 weeks and has been at home now since mid feb. She has been signed off from christies as they said she isn't strong enough for any treatment.

Hi, I’m sorry to hear about your mum. I’m in a similar situation. My mam has secondary breast cancer which has gone into her bones and lungs. They told her that treatment isn’t advised as it can not be cured and would just make things worse. I’m not dealing with everything. I hate seeing her in pain. I have no idea what to do or how to help her. 

Does she have any nurses coming? Who looks after her? I'm my mums full time carer now and I've got family who help. What support do you have?

She has community nurses that comes every 3 weeks. As it’s a different nurse every time and tell us different things it’s not very helpful. I’m my mam carer and also my dad’s. Both are ill and in their 80s. I do have family but mainly I’m on my own. I’ve have asked for more support but that’s taking it time. It’s difficult for me to as I have my own difficulties I’m getting a bit confused with everything and whether im doing it right.as I’m autistic. My mam was my support