My wife has been battling tnbc for the past 3 years. She has beaten it twice, but 2 weeks ago, after being unwell for a few days, we were told it has spread to her brain, liver and lungs. She was told she only has a few weeks left. She was feeling perfectly fine only a few weeks ago, so this has come as a huge shock. It's also made even harder by the fact her brain tumor is affecting her communication, so we are unable to chat about anything. I'm heartbroken and don't know what to do. She is only 50, we have been together for over 20 years. Feeling guilty that I could have done more.
Hi Jp10and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but I am so sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis.….. this is such a stressful and challenging time but talking with and getting support from people who are walking the ‘exact same' journey can help a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your wife and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our general cancer……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
As always the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
Hi Jp10
I am so sorry your wife is very unwell with metastatic TNBC. I have been living with metastatic TNBC since 2022, and whilst I am fortunate to be in remission, am well aware what a difficult cancer it is. I think all you can do is try to keep her as comfortable as possible. Please don’t beat yourself up thinking you could have done more. I am sure your wife won’t want you doing that. You couldn’t have done anything to stop the development of the disease and I am sure you have been able to share good times together over the 3 years she has been living with this.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
I am a Macmillan volunteer.
I have metastatic Triple Negative Breast Cancer, in remission
