Lonely

Hi ALLLMUM and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but I am so sorry to hear about your journey.

I know from experience having been on my cancer journey for over 26 years with two very rare, hard to treat types of Non Hodgkin’s Lymphomas (one incurable), Asbestosis and Prostate Cancer that navigating this journey can be such a stressful and challenging time…… as a family we have navigated these years as a team knowing that we need each other to get throgh

Talking with and getting support from people who have walked or are walking the ‘exact same' journey can help a lot.

This New to Community area is like our reception desk where we look to direct you to the best part of the Community for you to get support.

The Community is actually divided into dedicated Cancer Support Groups (Discussion Rooms)………… …… but you don’t say what type of cancer you have but if you tell me your type of cancer I can direct you to the best groups…….. or you can have a look through this link Cancer Specific Groups where you will find all our dedicated cancer support groups listed.

These groups are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from members who are navigating the exact same journey.

Have a look through the LIST above and once you find the support group for your cancer type....... click on the link and when the group page opens you will see a [Black - Click to Join - Banner] at the bottom of the page, click in this box and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

As always the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

For sure.  I have had a lot of emotions in my 13 years dealing with cancer.  Its perfectly normal.  Just remember some of the emotions are drug related.  However with good support from your friends and family it will be ok.  Its kinda hard here where i live,  miles away from family and have outlived my friends. So i depend on my wife from time to time.  She a real trooper. However i still am able to do pretty much anything i want.  However  age has been the real limiting factor for me more than cancer.   

3 weeks ago , out of the blue I was told I had terminal cancer .. too late for any treatment .. I am coping with the idea , but feel alone at times . Can’t really talk to my daughter as she is in pieces about this . I keep Apologising for doing this to her and my 4 grandchildren . I should be angry because I have been trying to get the doctors to believe I was ill for over a year 

Hello Cherry44 ,

A warm welcome to the online community, although I am very sorry you have the need to  join.

There are numerous areas on Macmillan where you can chat and find support. For example we have two general forums that you might like to join should you wish. The links below will take you to these:

Living with incurable cancer forum - patients only

Cancer chat forum

You can also use the Macmillan support line and can see what is available to you by Clicking here .

You haven't said what type of cancer you have been diagnosed but there are numerous forums on here for specific cancer types should you wish to chat and get practical information from others with the same condition. You can find these by clicking here - Cancer Specific Groups 

If there is anything else I can help with just reply here.

I just joined the community and happened to read your thread. I am so sorry you feel like this.

My life was turned upside down by one endometrial cancer and 3 bowel cancers and I have lived with it now for fourteen years. Lost my business and friends because of it and at times thought I would go crazy with loneliness. I don't have a family and hardly any friends left, the one friend I am close to, cannot understand my emotional mood swings, PTSD, trauma and fears and how generally tough life is with chronic pain and now even being a survivor - with so much to deal with. I successfully ended immunotherapy and have my life back so there is life after cancer. But what life? I am an author struggling to get back to work with no encouragement, a lack of inspiration and daily fatigue. It's a monumental struggle. I also still can't get out much and am being careful as my immunity is low, making it even harder to connect with anyone at all for any kind of meaningful chat. Most of the time I feel isolated. I am going through the guilt too. The loneliness is overwhelming and yes, it does creep up. At the end of immuno treatment I felt like my life was beginning again, now I am in a no mans land. Thank you for sharing. It helps to know we are not alone.

Hi, I have just returned to the community here after a few years away. I was a regular poster in the wee small hours back then.

Please be kind to yourself. Most of us are far more forgiving, understanding and accommodating of other people than we ever are of ourselves.

Your treatment journey has meant your physical, mental and emotional resources have been stretched to almost snapping point and they do twang back.

The end of treatment may seem like it should be a celebration, a joyous time of renewal, new opportunities and an up and at it phase. Reality can be very different.

Your personal resources bank can be extremely overdrawn.

For quite some time you have been a name on many lists, had many appointments that you were waiting for, dealing with and processing afterwards.

You were a patient and had a schedule.

Now what are you and what should you be doing?

It is a huge adjustment. Things are back to normal, except it is a new normal and you are expected to just get on with stuff just like everybody else, except you are not just like everybody else.

So be kind to yourself. Hope things improve and feel a little better soon.

Take care

Hi I am new here and just read ShimmeringUnicorn’s post. It has hit a cord with me. I am in remission (Myeloma) after a year of treatment. My diagnoses was a shock as I thought I had a slipped disc, but I made a plan and with support from my family I have got to here.  I have a large family my siblings and I were known as the Walton’s growing up. My husband and kids have been amazing support, but right now I feel alone and a bit lost.  I have come to realise that over the last year I have not been honest with my family as I wanted to protect them and I played down how I was feeling.

I am thinking what now? What should I be doing?   I don’t have answers but I know that talking to others who have experienced or experiencing similar feelings will help. 

So hopefully this will become my new obsession rather than Netflix.