Hi folks,
I'm in that tricky place of waiting to see if I have cancer, and having lots of the terror, while not truly knowing. But also knowing enough about what's going on to know that things are not looking good for me.
It's very difficult emotionally at times, even though I'm a very level headed person. The lump on my ovary was found 37 days ago, but it was the result of an MRI with blood tests that raised huge concerns 16 days ago, and saw me immediately referred to the local multidisciplinary team. They didn't consider my case that week, or the next, waiting for the CT scan results, despite the gynaecologist's wishes. Those results didn't come through in time for today's 3rd try of a Wednesday meeting. Fingers crossed for next week!
I've accepted that it may very well be cancer. I just want to know now. Either way I also know they're going to need to operate to remove some stuff, possibly quite a lot of stuff, and maybe do a staging procedure as well. And any operation like that is extra concerning given other health factors in my case.
I'm finding it hard to talk to people other than my husband or gynaecologist about it. Too many people want to say something like "Stay positive!", or "I have a feeling everything will be ok!", or "Hoping to hear good news from you!" That is very much not helping, though I'm currently mainly biting my tongue. My normally calm as a cucumber husband has also been getting annoyed by some of these remarks, even before I say anything to him after. It's also tricky because most people don't realise that I'm going to need an operation anyway, and how very risky it is in my case. And that I can't have a simpler biopsy.
But yup, limbo land. I've accepted I may have a tough path ahead. I've had chemotherapy infusions for autoimmune disease before, and always said I'd do it again if need be. I just wasn't anticipating cancer down the line.
And yes, of course, I may get the all clear, albeit after a hefty operation to investigate. That would be lovely.
But it is what it is. I just want to know now.
Thanks and hugs to all.
Viv
Hi VivD and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your ongoing diagnosis.
I know from experience having been on my cancer journey for over 26 years with two very rare, hard to treat types of Non Hodgkin’s Lymphomas (one incurable), Asbestosis and Prostate Cancer that navigating this journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but talking with and getting support from people who have walked or are walking the ‘exact same' journey can help a lot.
As you see the Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms)…… and I do see that you have already found and posted in our dedicated……..
…….. support group.
This group is a safe place to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support.
As always the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
Having a plan helps control the noise between the ears…… as this help you see the road before you.
Do go in and update the Ovarian cancer support group that I do see you have been posting in.
All the very best,
Thank you! And glad to hear your good news. Yes the waiting was hard. And yes I now have nurse support - I didn't have that in place until the phone call yesterday. Looking forward to hearing the plan soon. Just such a relief. I'm confident that the MDT will have made a good decision for me. And things are moving forward. I said to my Mum weeks ago that "They can just wheech it all out!" as far as I'm concerned. Wheech is a Scots word, to go whizzing past at speed, or to remove something / snatch it away. Very appropriate. It made us laugh a lot! I also introduced my Somerset in-laws to the word last night 
Thanks again, and all the best.
Hi Sheian I see you are new to the community so welcome.
You may want to have a look at our dedicated…..
……. support group
