Post Radiotherapy treatment

Hi

I was diagnosed Oct last year after PSA of 12.1 and 14.4. I had no symptoms whatsoever and only asked for a PSA due to my brother in law passing away a few years ago with the disease at the age of 58. His wife becoming an advocate for men being tested.

I did attempt to be tested a year earlier but as no symptoms I was told by nurse would have to see Dr first (and you know what its like getting an appointment). 

Anyway, eventually asked again a year later which resulted in the above PSA reading of 12.1. They put me on the pathway and to be fair it was very quick, manual digit test (which felt ok to them), another blood test PSA 14 4 and then MRI which was piriad 3 inconclusive. Had the biopsies done (found that a bit challenging)  and waited for the results. They confirmed cancer 3+3 and 3+4 contained. My wife broke down at the diagnosis as it brought losing her brother back to the forefront of her mind so was comforting her while trying to take it in myself - it came from nowhere! However, I was pleased it was discovered and felt lucky and unlucky at the same time!! 

Had to make a decision on the treatment, either prostatectomy or radiotherapy, either one no better than the other as a curative treatment so after speaking to my consultant who told me i would be a good candidate for SABR radiotherapy which is 5 high intensity fractions instead of 20 lower dose fractions instead so I chose that.

The stress in having to make a decision like that played havoc with my head and I would normally say I was a decision maker, but both those sets of side effects didnt really appeal to me but had to choose one!! 

I completed the treatment over the new year and still have urgency to go the loo now then bit hit and miss how my flow is, im on tamulosin which has helped, prob a bit too well on occasion as get little leak now and then!

Just wanted to get back to work then and be normal so after 8wks started phased return back in on desk duties 2 days for 2wks then 3 days for 2wks before I went off sick again! The whole experience of going up and down corridor to the loo quite often, not being able to concentrate properly and colleagues being really nice and wanting to speak to me about what happened all got on top of me. I became quite anxious and emotional at drop of a hat and that couldn't carry on in work!

All this despite first post treatment PSA coming back as 4.6! I was told by my consultant that it will take up to 18 months for it to get down to 0.2 where it will hopefully stay!!

To add insult to injury the work I was doing for past couple of years for a possible promotion was lost as they advertised post and gave it to someone else while I was off sick!! 

Ive now been referred to Occupational Health for possible ill health retirement which im now not opposed to.

Ive been so lucky really and yet feel so down about it and despite being offered antidepressants ive not taken them up on it as hoping once things settle over the whole situation as well as the work one, I will be able to focus on a future which im fortunate to have.

I was told right at the beginning, everyone's cancer journey will be different, though some will be similar and looking at some of the conversations on here they were right.

Im sorry for the chapter and verse but just thought it was worth mentioning that anxiety and upset at whats happened can hit at anytime. I thought all done once treatment decision was made but I was wrong! 

Good luck everyone wherever you may be on your own journeys!!