OK, so I'm going to blather on a bit hoping that writing it down reduces the stress level a bit. Don't read unless you can spare at least 5 minutes !
I still work, but my wife has said I can stop when I reach 70 later this year. I'm a little tired of work but it's a business I built and I do have a certain pride in the products I designed or invented, it does not make a lot of money, but it paid thr mortgage on the house.
I have been accompanying my Dad to oncology appointments for his Cancer of the bladder. He is 95 and we had discussed his situation and he had decided on a conservative course of action as he was not strong enough for suitable treatments.. he had already beaten Prostate Cancer 25 years ago.
then a couple of months ago I was due to have a blood test related to arthritis (I had a new hip last year but my knees shoulder and wrist are v painful) I asked for a PSA test to be tacked onto the other blood tests as I'd been reading about Prostate Cancer and the call for a screening program....
The PSA test came back at 12.5 so I had an MRI which didn't show any real issues but was affected a little by the metal in my hip.. due to the family history I was offered and took the opportunity to have biopsies taken.
At this point my father had a fall, I found him on the floor, the fall was probably due to a UTI, but unfortunately he hit his head on a radiator valve as he fell, which caused a subdural haematoma. Dad was taken into hospital and was very poorly.
I had the perineal biopsy, 16 shots plus one misfire, uncomfortable, but no issues, so I was lucky.
The results of my Biopsy were in and I was summoned to a meeting with a urology specialist. During the meeting the ward where my Dad was staying phoned me and said they wanted to discharge him to home care that or the next day.. this was a bit of a shock as I'd just been told one of the biopsies was positive for cancer...
Luckily for me, it's only a 3+3, but it took a while to sink in and I had to rush off to prepare my dad's house for his return.
I turned the heating on, then went to get some shopping, not knowing really what the procedure was.. while I was shopping I had a call from the ward to say he was on his way...
I got to his house about ten minutes before the ambulance . They were not happy with the environment, not were the carers that arrived a few minutes later, resulting in a failed discharge and a return to hospital.
A couple of weeks passed and Dads condition deteriorated to the point where medical intervention has now stopped, but he was successfully discharged to home with visits 4 times a day.
I am the only person able to look after him, so I have moved into his house on my wife's birthday, during a visit by my daughter and granddaughter ( 2 years and 2 months old)
I'm beginning to wonder if I've made the right decision to be the carer for my Dad. He was distressed in the hospital and seems much happier in the home environment.
Should I seek help from outside ? What organisations can look after him in the daytime while I go to work? Have I taken on too much ? Should I feel guilty for thinking this ( I do)...
