My story is summarised in my bio, not sure what to say here, just wanted to talk to people who might understand I think. Big test results tomorrow to find out if I have even less than the current average 2-3 years of people in my situation have. Can’t sleep. Have moved quickly from a positive bowel cancer tumour removal. waiting for a stoma reversal. to inoperable lung and liver cancers that need managing rather than curing. Haven’t told anyone yet, got a 15 year old about to start GCSEs in three weeks, need to spare him the pain until they are over. I have only known a week, I have no symptoms, I have never felt so sad and helpless.
It is tough to accept you are a passenger in this cancer journey, you get limited info drip fed to you, and you have no control over what happens next. Just a month ago it all looked really positive for me, and 5 years monitoring was all I had to worry about. Now the picture is very different and the last week has been the hardest thing I have ever had to get through.
I have lots of people asking me how I am and what the latest update is, I am palming them all off until I tell the children, not sure how I will do that, I am lucky I have an amazingly supportive wife, who is always optimistic, but has so far always been wrong too and it hurts her so much each time.
Anyway, for those just starting out on the journey, don’t compare yourself to others, don’t google stuff, don’t predict what’s next, just take each step at a time and follow the advice you are given, if I had have known everything I would have had to go through at the start I couldn’t have coped, but just taking each stage and getting through it you will be surprised what you are capable of.
Good Luck everybody!
