I had a left breast mastectomy, implant, right side reconstruction and lymph nodes removed fourteen years ago. I've had annual check ups since then and the all clear on everyone until...
Last Tuesday they found a mass in my right breast, I had an ultrasound and biopsies taken I'm now waiting for results, due on 24th.
My consultant advised me that the measure probability on a scale of 1-5. 1 being cyst benign, 5 being cancer. Mines a 4 - high probability biopsies to confirm .
In the past five years I've lost both my father then my mother 18 months ago. I'm still travelling the road of grief ( I lived with my parents) and life has changed dramatically since their passing.
I feel like I want to crawl in to bed and just sleep, but I wake with a shaking in my body that won't stop. I'm so scared of what's to come and worried that I just don't have the strength to carry me through this journey alone.
Bless you, it sounds like you have dealt with a lot over the past few years. The thought of facing your next phase alone must also feel overwhelming at times. But look what you have overcome already! It sounds like you have found strength when its needed and i'm sure you will have a lot to fight for going forward.
My wife has been battling triple negative cancer for over a year, she has had several surgeries, chemo and treatments... and it keeps coming back. She is currently waiting for results for a PET scan and the worry of the 'spread' is overwhelming at times.
Talking about the situation is hard to muster at first but does take some of the burden away....even if it is brief.
All the best for your results 
Hello Djf
A belated warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community - I am Brian one of the Community Champions here on the Community. I am so sorry to read of your present situation.
The Community is divided into cancer specific groups and I would advise you to join the Breast Cancer group where you will meet others on the same or similar journey. Here's the link you need:
Just click on the link I have provided and once the page opens up, click on "join" on the black banner at the bottom of the page. Once you have joined the group you can either copy and paste or repost your post above in the "New Here - Say Hello" section. I am sure you will receive plenty of help and advice.
I would also advise you to give our Support Line a call on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week). They will be able to give you some brilliant advice to help you with your feelings at this time.
If you need any help in navigating the community, please do come back to me.
Best wishes - Brian.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
I am a Macmillan volunteer.
Hello Paddy82
I thank you for your post - if you read my post above you will find the Community is divided into different cancer specific groups and your wife may well benefit from joining this group:
Triple negative breast cancer forum
If you or your wife need any help in navigating the Community, please do get back to me.
Best wishes - Brian.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
I am a Macmillan volunteer.
