New not to cancer. But to. Talking about it

Hi my name is Denise i was first diagnosed in 2011 with breast cancer the hormone one left me for over ten years came back 2021 metastases in my bones around this time my son was diagnosed with penile cancer a very rare one I think took him very quickly so while dealing with a stage 4 incurable cancer had to deal with the death of my boy he was 34 something u never get over anyway started my treatment not good with remember names tablets three weeks on one week of forgot to say I was given month in 2021 injection in bottom of back and a bone one which was every month everything was remaining stable anyway just before Xmas my hubby collapsed he had undiagnosed diabetes was hrs away from going in a coma was in hospital for a week they did a ct scan found a bullet shaped mass inis intestines was devastated couldn’t lose someone else I had been having a few blips along the way sorry if I jumping from one thing to another  had a mri scan and ct scan on the 23 December so a awful,wait fir us both yesterday he went for his results wasn’t cancer but it could develope so he has to have it removed I was due my oncologist report on Friday with results but why I was waiting a number popped up it was my oncologist knew something was wrong my tumour markers had been going up but they can’t be relide on for a proper diagnosis so I said it bad news he said yes and no my cancer was stable but a couple of things had show up on my liver a 2mm one and some shadows now I was scared they caught it pretty early but liver just freaks me out I have a blood test on Monday to see if I’ve a mutant gene if I do there a new trial or something not sure what this is has any heared of it been up all night googling in was ok but now I feel fightnened scare can’t catch a break if I haven’t the gene they have tools in there box but are prcceddong urgently he said I done well was on my first round of treatment been 4 yrs but now he thinks it stop working so stopping this treatment and getting the blood test done has anyone else had to deal with this is so scary and going to liver really scared me I had a spot on lung this had vanished had some in pelvis and spine which are stable but I’m so scared of the liver one sorry for going on a lot probably doesn’t make sense but has anyone had to deal with this so need a break to get my head cleared but we was struggling over Xmas has my hubby don’t get paid if he doesn’t work it been the worse time ever and I know I’m jumping ahead and always said am I going to die he always said no the a lot of line open to me but this time he said we will get the blood check and if it not the gene will look in my tool box feel like I’ve dodge a bullet for too longs and it on it way to get me I’m mental and physically broken but always paint that smile on people say you are so brave strong but I’m not I’m scared and frighten any advice or guidance i would be so grateful for