Dealing with my mums diagnosis

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Hi, im not even sure what to do here to be honest, im not normally one to do this i usually just deal with my situation quietly but this one has took me back alot.

We found out today my mum has advanced tongue cancer which has spread to her lymph nodes in her neck. They have said 1 option is surgery to remove her tongue and lymph nodes in her neck but have  made it clear that the quality of life wouldn't be great if she makes it through the operation. She'd never talk again and have to be fed through her neck. There's a also a chance they may not be able to remove it all or it may come back. 

We have a meeting Thursday to discuss this all again and agree on a plan of action. I really just don't know what to think. My mum is asking me to help her make a decision but I have no idea how to feel right now and im ao scared of every outcome Pensive