Hiya. New to the group. My mother has breast cancer and an imminent mastectomy. I have young children. We are taking my mother’s lead about who knows what and currently the children know nothing. I’d like to tell the children (I read the page about it on here, very useful) but it feels like this big ‘we must get Christmas out the way’ thing. Also my mother and I make decisions in very different ways. I’m very logical, and would pick the least risk option and then just stick to it. My mother is exploring all her options and often sounds like she wants to challenge the advice she has been given by the cancer nurse. I know this comes from a place of fear, and I want to support her without enabling or encouraging damaging thought patterns. I just want her to choose the least risk option and save herself the torment, but don’t want her to feel like I’m trying to manage her. I’m exhausted. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Hi Frigg and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum.
A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our dedicated…….
……. support group.
This group is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself and the rest of the family you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Carers only (if you are her caregiver)
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
