My husband has been on a dreadful journey over the last 18 months. From having a small tumour on his temp being misdiagnosed to it becoming very aggressive and coming back 3 times following extensive surgeries. The last time they decided to use radiotherapy as a primary treatment rather than surgery as they knew it would return before he had healed. He is paralysed on the left side of his face so can't open his mouth very wide he has a large open wound where is latest tumour was treated with radiotherapy he has lost half of his ear and until he is healed the rest of his ear is just barely attached. However after all of this the first scan following radiotherapy looks good no sign that it's come back. Fantastic news. However since August my husband has lost nearly 5 stone and he won't eat. It started with he couldn't eat but now I feel it's psychological I can see him wasting away in front of my eyes he refuses to talk about. He gets very angry if I even ask what he wants to eat. He will take 2 or 3 mouthfuls and then leaves it the oncologist keeps telling him he must eat but he always has a reason why he can't. Last night he woke in pain and while he was settling he admitted he was scared that he just can't eat. But he then clams up and refuses to talk about it and my gentle loving husband becomes a nasty horrible person saying quite hateful things. I don't know what to do has anyone else experienced this
Hi Jupo6055adb3 and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husband.
A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
…… and our
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
