Hello everyone
My elderly mum was diagnosed with incurable oesophagus cancer 9 months ago. I have always been close to my mum and see her everyday. She’s my best friend and I adore her. But I am her main carer and sometimes I find myself just wishing I had my life back, as caring for her now has reached a point where it takes up most of my day - and some nights too. She is near the end and can no longer look after herself so I dress her, shower her, take her out in her wheelchair, cook for her and then get her to bed at night. Life would be easier if she lived with me but my house isn’t set up for a disabled person…so I find myself going backwards and forwards all day. If I could, i’d wish my mum could live forever, but not like this. So I find myself secretly wishing it was all over. But then I feel terrible and so guilty for having such thoughts. Please tell me I’m not the only one to feel like this.
Hi Diane and I am sorry to hear about your mum and the challenges you are dealing with……. my cancer journey is rather different so I have no first hand experience to bring to the table.
As you know the Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Carers only (that I see you have already joined)
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
