I'm saddened, shocked but relieved by how many people are on this forum to support one another...that is a positive thing.
I've been spiralling since my mum was told she had six weeks to live back in June with one of the most treatable cancers. I feel so cheated. She has a heart condition so they were unable to operate.
The hospice got her well enough to come home for a month in August which was such a gift, but sadly her bowel has twisted and is dying and she has been back in the hospice since the beginning of September. To see her decline, waste away and suffer while worrying about myself just seems so selfish of me.
I feel like I went through grief twice and she hasn't even died yet. I now know I'm going through anticipatory grief...
I feel guilty because she has fought cancer twice before and has had a blessed life, but it's not fair.
She's strong and I'm quite frankly a mess. I'm off work as I'm so run down I've made myself unwell.
Any support out there would be so amazing.
Thank you for letting me vent and reading my post.
One thing everyone keeps saying is "be kind to yourself". It's hard.
Hi HopeForTomorrow58d7d2 and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum.
A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Carers only (if you are his/her caregiver)
Supporting someone with incurable cancer (That I see you have already joined)
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
