I'm the partner of a man who has been newly diagnosed with CLL. He is to have medication and chemotherapy. We know that this is likely to affect his libido and our sex life is one of his major concerns. I'm looking for information so I can reassure and support him.
I know we should try to avoid sharing his body fluids, eg. semen. We'll use a condom for penetrative sex, but is oral sex still ok? And kissing?
How far should we take this? Does he need separate towels and mugs?
I feel helpless and in shock. Any advise you can give me to let him know he's no less a man, and to keep us both safe, would be gratefully received. Thank you
Hi 57Sumand55bc6 and a warm welcome to the Community although I am sorry hear about your partners CLL diagnosis.
I am Mike and I help out around our various Blood Cancer groups. I don’t have Chronic lymphocytic leukaemia (CLL) but for some context I was diagnosed way back in 1999 at 43 with a rare (8 in a million) incurable but treatable type of Cutaneous T-Cell NHL (a type of slow growing Low-grade non-Hodgkin lymphoma) ……. eventually reaching Stage 4a in late 2013 when a second, also rare (4 in a million) type of aggressive Peripheral T-Cell - Not Otherwise Specified NHL (a type of fast growing High-grade non-Hodgkin lymphoma) was then presenting so although my blood cancer ‘type’ is different I most definitely appreciate the challenges of this journey rather well.
Care needs to be taken with regards to intimacy especially oral sex due to the significant risks associated with some of the cancer treatments.
He or you both need to talk with his clinical team to get their professional advice as at times each situation is different.
But in general it takes about 48 to 72 hours for the body to break down and/or get rid of most chemo drugs.
But the effects of the chemo on his growth areas and his general immune system will last for weeks.
It is important to remember that he may well be more open to infections at about days 7-14 as this tends to be the window when our immune system is at its lowest and there is an increased risk of infection.…… then the body recovers in time for his next cycle….. but the more chemo he has, the longer the recovery can take so by the end of treatment it could take a few months this to recover completely.
So using separate towels is a good plan but anything that gets washed regularly like cups is not an issue….. if you have 2 WCs then don’t use the same one, but if you have only one make sure to double flush and sanitise every time.
Just remember that this period is temporary and in the big picture, being very careful for a short time helps to ensure no infections, and infections means the journey gets longer.
We do have a dedicated CLL, SLL and HCL support on the community where you can chat to others on the same journey.
Although CLL it has the word Leukaemia in it, in Heamatology terms it actually comes under the umbrella of Low-grade non-Hodgkin lymphoma - yes very confusing I hear you say. This is why CLL, SLL and HCL have a group on their own.
So do also check out Lymphoma Action. Lymphoma Action is the only UK Lymphoma Specific Charity who have lots of good reliable information, videos…… basically all things relating to your condition....... pre, during and post treatment..
Lymphoma Action run regular Support Platforms...... I highly recommend these groups as there is nothing better than talking with others who are navigating the support journey.
I am always around to help more, just to chat and to answer questions.
