Hi All,
I have joined this group as my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer three years ago and initially we were told she only had months, not years, to live. Three years on and having had live in carers for a year she decided she did not need them anymore so went with a daily carer for once a day. Mum has recently had several falls, she now has a DVT. She was only on tablet form treatment which has now been stopped which is probably why she is going down. She is very stubborn and we often argue over things like the support she needs. I am now struggling with her as I don't know how i can help her further. It is a struggle getting carers she actually likes and who do things her way. i have had to take time off sick as I am not coping very well with it and a full time job. She is now living downstairs with a commode, she doesn't seem to understand that this needs emptying more than just once a day. We are self funding her care and to be honest did not like the carers provided for her when she came out of hospital. i deal with all the finances, paying carers and organising cover, it is like a full time job on it's own.
I know I am not the only one out there that is dealing with this which is why I have joined this group. My doctor has suggested I get some counselling as well to help support my mental wellbeing. I am currently looking for more carers as I have also had to fill in myself rather than just be her daughter. I also need to get a weekend away as not had a holiday this year as worried bout leaving her.
My heart goes out to all those with and caring for family members that are living with cancer.
Hi caring for mum3bd23a and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Carers only (if you are her caregiver)
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
