HI
I'm in new territory waiting for an appointment date, the waiting is tough, my head is racing around. I've been on HRT since January, I'm 57, it's not been the wonderful solution to menopause that I often see, I've had lots of bleeding. Eventually I went to a menopause clinic last month and the wonderful doctor there referred me for an ultrasound. I expected it to be routine but the lining measured 14.8 and I was advised an urgent gynaecological appointment would be needed for a hysteroscopy. It could be polyps, fibroids or womb cancer. I focused on the lesser of those and felt ok but then my doctor said that I needed to understand that I was being referred for a suspected cancer finding, which really made me very scared.
My head's been all over the place since while I wait for the gynaecology appointment. I've not even been diagnosed yet! I don't know if that's worse or better. I feel such a burden to my husband constantly talking about what if scenarios from it being nothing to it being everything. Every ache and pain makes me think it's spread around my body. As I write this, I'm laughing at myself but it's hard to get rid of the dark thoughts.
How do people cope with the uncertainty? I'm trying to be sensible but it sometimes catches me and I feel very scared, panicky. I do like a plan!
I wish everyone going through any part of this all the very best.
And thanks for any thoughts, x
How do people cope with the uncertainty? I'm trying to be sensible but it sometimes catches me and I feel very scared, panicky. I do like a plan!
Hi SFC424d80ce if you are still here in this group.
I kept busy and active. Husband and I had a honey fair to attend. We take our honey and meet up with old friends every year. It was a godsend, though looking at photos of me in this period I can see the fear in my face. I had to wait an interminable 6 weeks before my urgent 2 week referral appeared. What helped me was to get everything in order. I run the house and my husband hasn't a clue so I typed everything out into a folder on his computer, made as many hard copies as I felt were needed and wrote a letter to my daughter who lives abroad. I can tell you that one had floods of tears and countless rewrites but you know it got me in the right m mood to accept that they could manage without me which was, apart from the guilt of being a burden, my greatest fear.. It took me ages. When I was done the air was clear and I felt at peace no matter what was to come. My husband said I had changed too. My cancer was different to the one you are being investigated for but I am now chasing 7 years and I am well. All the best to you xx
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
