A terminal diagnosis from nowhere

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My partner was referred by our GP to an AEC Unit one week ago, following a blood test displaying worrying reslts. Following a scan, the next day we were told that she had cancer of the liver that had spread to the lungs. It was inoperable and termial. 

We were both completely devasted by this news and our world turned upside down. My partner was told that a biopsy would need to be taken before they could plan a course of action. The biopsy never took place because she has been too ill and too weak to undergo one. 

Over a period of seven days, she has deteriorated rapidly and now only had a day or so to live. 

I just don't know what to do and feel totally lost, panicky and scared. 

I reached retirement age four months ago and we had saved and planned for an exciting future together. Now my world has ended and I can't imagine it without her. This has all been so cruel, unfair and unexpected.

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your partners diagnosis.

    A cancer diagnosis like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.

    The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your partner and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……

      Carers only

      Supporting someone with incurable cancer

    ……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi Gary.

    yours was the fist post I’ve seen. I am going through similar with my Mum, diagnosed with metastatic liver cancer 7 weeks ago, one week ago told no treatment, 4-8 weeks left. She ha deteriorated rapidly over the last week and I feel exactly the same as you panicky, scared….. as well as angry and so overwhelmingly sad. 
    its such a shock. My mum and I do so much together, she is my best friend. I’ve had to cancel planned holidays which is so heartbreaking 

    I’m so sorry for what you are both going through.

    i am trying not to fight my feelings at this time, but it’s difficult. My workplace is helpful but they don’t need me falling apart everyday so I just have to pretend I’m ok.

    then I feel guilty because it’s my mum going through this not me. But it is us, because we are losing someone we love so much and seeing them in pain is so awful when we can’t change that.

    i think it’s a real positive that we have reached out for some support 

    sending all of my best wishes to you both 

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to you as well..... although I am sorry to hear about your mum.

    Do have a look at the various support areas available that I have highlighted above..... there is support available to help you navigate this challenging time.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Thank you for your advice. I'm new to this and just finding my way around, but will now look into joing a more dedicated support group

  • I can completely empathise with eveything you say and feel so sorry you are going through the same, frightening journey that I am.

    I fully understand your position at work too because the situation with your Mum takes prescedence, completely overidimg everything else, making it difficult to concemtrate on anything. 

    Like you, I hope by reaching out, we find a constructive and positive way forward with how we deal with what's to come in the future.

    I send you both my best wished too and sincerely hope that you are able to find a way to make your upsetting situation more manageable.

  • Am so so sorry about yours news ,,stay strong