Not sure how to cope or feel

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Hi I’m new here and today my husband (44) was told he has stage 4b N2 colorectal cancer and it’s very aggressive and isn’t curable. 

I feel numb, it hasn’t hit him yet as he is showing no emotion whereas I’m a blubbering mess. I have no idea how to even start processing this let alone know how I am going to cope let alone him. 

I have a great support network which I am going to have to lean on, as there are some hard times to come but in the meantime I don’t even know what to do. How do I go to work and function, 

anyone got any tips on how to process and cope with what’s to come. 

many thanks in advance. 

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis.

    A cancer diagnosis in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.

    The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our…….

         Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer

    ……. support group.

    This group is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.

    As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……

    Carers only

    Supporting someone with incurable cancer

    ……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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