My nightmare journey started Christmas eve 2020 when my wife was diagnosed with stage 4 aggressive ovarian, with very little hope, she wasn't going to except that, we were told she would start chemo in January and operation in April, however they made it clear there was very little hope she would make it until April, well she did, 7 hour operation and came home in a week, she lived a normal and enjoyable life for over a year then it came back, another operation and chemo, she never gave up, then the cancer progress to her breast, not serious at that stage, then if our lives couldn't get any worse.... I was diagnosed with Ureteral cancer and it was heading to my kidney, so operation booked in for January 2024, to remove kidney and Ureteral, when I woke up I still had catheter in so knew something wasn't right, I was then told the cancer had spread, it was now also in my bladder, prostate and urethra, so booked in for March to have it all removed and a urostomy stoma fitted, that was a good thing, 9 hr operation with 2 surgeon's, in hospital for 2 weeks, I came home my wife was unbelievable how she looked after me, despite how she was, she was getting bad headaches, our doctor who was brilliant came out to see me 10 days later and I asked him to look at my wife, he done some tests and sent her straight to hospital, we were told the cancer had spread to her brain, she still wasn't giving up, unbelievably, so now we were going to Addenbrooks for targeting treatment, I was told I needed to start chemo in May and I did, but it wiped me out for a week (8.30-4.30) I only had 1 more in June then stopped my wife wasn't doing very well, she never gave up, on August 1st her legs were getting heavy (her words) I bought a wheelchair to help her get up and around the house, luckily we have a bungalow, August 6th, all the family came over, i told them she doesn't realise whats happening and i don't want her to, she had arranged for her sister to wash her hair as we were due to go to hospital that weekend, the next day she couldn't talk but she could smile, we went to bed holding hands looking at eachother, the last time we looked at eachother still holding hands was around 5am on the 8th August, she then passed away in her sleep, I laid with her for a hour just taking to her, and the dogs were there to, I rang all the family who came round, she was incredibly brave and positive lady, annow my cancer is back I've just finished my last full day chemo yesterday, and I'm not feeling brave or positive about my future, thank you for letting me tell my story x
Hi Hilly and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
It's sounds like and your wife have been through an incredibly tough time but your love and care for each other shines through.
The online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend a couple for you to join. The first is the bereaved spouses and partners group, where you can share your feelings and give and receive support, and the second is the kidney cancer group as you'll then connect directly with others who have the same type of cancer as you.
To join, just click on the links I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your diagnosis and treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Hilly
I think that you'll find that there are lots of others like you who don't feel positive about their future but find support here. However, if you feel this online community is not for you then anyone who reads your reply will respect that.
Anne
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
