Good afternoon everyone
im looking for some advice, my dad is very poorly and has been for quite some time, he was diagnosed about 8 years ago with COPD by a work medical test but he never told any of us he just left his employment . Over the last few years he has struggled with his chest but he hasn’t seen a doctor for over 25 years!!! This last few months have been awful he complains of his chest hurting, he can’t lie down in bed so sleeps in a chair at night but the last few weeks his breathing has gotten really bad he’s puffing and lip breathing a lot very laboured , he’s not eating hardly anything and not that he has said much but I think he thinks it is lung cancer ( he’s a smoker has been for a very long time) over the last 6 weeks he has lost all of his body fat and is very under weight. My mum lives with him I’ve moved away but have been visiting every other week as I’m worried, he sleeps a lot during the day and has stopped going out anywhere. But still he is refusing any medical help he still hasn’t seen a doctor not once!! I don’t know how to support him or my mother, I’ve tried pleading with him and tried being supportive but it’s awful as he has no pain medications and we don’t know what illness we are dealing with but he still refuses any medical help. Has anyone been in this position before I worry that he looks that unwell and under weight (you can put your hands around the top of his thigh now) that if he did need a doctor as he had deteriorated badly that they may think we have neglected him and left him to be unwell…. Amy advice greatly appreciated
Hi Tc18 and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your dad and the challenges you are all having.
This can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot…… I have no first hand experience in dealing with such a challenge.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your dad and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
……. support group where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Link” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
