My Brother has Lung Cancer it scares me to lose him and leave him

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Hi,

I joined this community as I have lost most of my family members to Cancer.  At present my brother has Lung Cancer and it has spread to his chest.  He lives in England and is in a care home and I'm up in Scotland.  I've been travelling down every weekend lately so I can be with him. He has just had a Syringe pump fitted and is very weak and confused now.  It scared me that if he declines I wont make it in time to be with him.

I lost my mum to cervical cancer when I was 10 year old and my dad to lung cancer 18 years ago so my brother and I have been very close. Now I'm losing him and it is very scary. The care home he is in is amazing and they are taking good care of him and the MacMillan nurses is in every day.

Thought this group would be good to join to have some support from families that are also going through the same as sometimes other people just don't understand how you feel. 

I have to work but I also have to be with my brother when the time comes I just hope I can be. I'm also very scared at the thought of having to arrange his funeral its so difficult being at the other end of the country from him and maybe not knowing what to do.

He doesn't eat only drinks, gets very confused when talking about something like he has forgotten what he was saying or doing. Confused to even turn the TV channel over and sleeps all day even a lot when we visit but I just keep talking with him he cant have any treatment as he was too weak for this. Thank you for listening to me.

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

    I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and although I wasn't diagnosed with the same type of cancer as your brother I know how a cancer diagnosis impacts the whole family.

    The online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the lung cancer group, which is a great place to ask questions and share experiences about your brother's diagnosis and treatment, and also the family and friends group where you can share your emotions and worries with others who have a family member living with cancer.

    To join, just click on the links I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

    It would be great if you could put something about your brother's diagnosis and treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"